The photo obtained by the Daily Mail is blurry, but that does appear to be Slick Willie in a fetching knee-length blue gown with a plunging neckline and bold red heels.

Either that or it’s Bea Arthur. Which would be even sicker.

And so, once again, we must re-order the list of Epstein’s darkest perversions:

1. Serial pedophilia and sex trafficking
2. Painting of Bill Clinton in a dress
3. Plans to “seed” the world with his DNA

Maybe this is why Epstein killed himself. It didn’t bother him to be known as one of the planet’s most voracious child-abusing perverts. But once everyone knew that he had an oil on canvas of the Clenis in a skirt, well, some things simply can’t be explained away.

The picture depicting the former president apparently lounging on a chair in the Oval Office, wearing red heels and posing suggestively in a blue dress redolent of Monica Lewinsky was in a room off the stairway of the Upper East Side townhouse…

The color of the dress seemed to be a pointed reference to Clinton’s former intern Monica Lewinsky, who a blue dress during their infamous sexual encounter in the White House…

The origin of the painting is unknown. DailyMail.com has seen metadata which verifies where and when the picture was taken, which showed it hanging against a dark-colored wall in Epstein’s stone fortress…

The shoulder of the blue dress hangs off to the side as ‘Clinton’ seems to raise a ‘come hither’ finger towards the viewer.

The pattern of stonework above and around the doorway in the photo resembles the paint pattern on the outside of Epstein’s infamous temple. Maybe that’s a coincidence, maybe Epstein really liked that scheme. Either way, my new theory of the secret of the temple is that it’s actually a private art studio where Epstein blackmailed all living presidents into sitting for him while he painted them as cross-dressers.

Which means a portrait of Trump in a ball gown will probably be entering the national consciousness any day now.

My sort of mundane explanation for the painting is that Epstein likely had a weird sense of humor — how could he not have? — plus the dough to commission art as a goof if he liked, and may have thought that a “Bill in a blue dress” painting would be an amusing way to shock visitors. Maybe it was even intended as a gag gift for someone.

Or maybe, as righties are half-jokingly suggesting on Twitter this afternoon, it’s not a painting at all. Maybe it’s a photo.

No wonder Bill had him killed.

I kid, but don’t laugh too hard. The Daily Mail’s source goes on to note that on her way out of Epstein’s mansion she noticed a young Hispanic girl in the waiting area “who was really young – she looked about 14.” Could be she was there because, as the source assumed at the time, she was the housekeeper’s daughter. Could be she was there for another reason. This would have been October 2012, long after Epstein had received his sweetheart deal from Alex Acosta’s office and done his time for sex offenses. The man was operating in plain sight.

Update: Yep, that’s Bill all right. Looks like Epstein *didn’t* paint it himself.