This is as close to a real-life “Twilight Zone” episode as anyone will ever experience. Remember the one where Burgess Meredith was all set to hunker down for post-apocalyptic eternity with the reading list of his dreams — before cracking his coke-bottle glasses? This isn’t quite as cruelly ironic as that, but … dude. Dude.

If he had a couple of dollars, he’d be living the dream. Michael Kosko, a state worker who passed on the office pool that scored a $319 million Mega Millions jackpot, had the simplest reason for bowing out.

“I didn’t have two singles,” said Michael Kosko, a six-year employee of the Homes and Community Renewal agency in Albany.

“We had played over the past few months, we never hit anything. And I just decided that on that particular day, I wasn’t going to play.”…

“It wasn’t my day,” he said in the understatement of the millennium.

His girlfriend’s reportedly “a tad miffed.” He’s not the only loser either: Apparently four other officemates who usually chip in for tickets passed this time. The winners get $19.1 million after taxes, which should be good for roughly a million bucks a year in income if invested conservatively. Kosko and the rest get … insomnia for the rest of their lives, I guess.

The inevitable exit question: Would you cut them in on the winnings? Even partially? Even a tiny bit? C’mon.