Alternate headline: “Hugo Chavez helpfully provides James Cameron with plot for next movie.”

In case you’ve ever wondered what the vanguard of international socialism thinks about during its down time, wonder no longer, my friends.

“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.

Chavez, who also holds capitalism responsible for many of the world’s problems, warned that water supplies on Earth were drying up.

“Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts,” Chavez said, sipping from a glass of water.

He added that the West’s attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves.

A few thoughts. One: This would have been a way more interesting economic subplot to the Star Wars prequels than that tedium involving trade federations and space tariffs, no? Imagine the complete mindscrew on the audience once they realized that Obi Wan, Luke, Han, etc, were actually socialist guerrillas fighting the free enterprise empire. Long live Secretary-General Jar Jar! Two: I’m not a sci-fi nerd so I can’t be sure, but there must be a classic allegory or two somewhere in the canon about socialism’s capacity to ruin civilizations. Something in Heinlein, maybe? Commenters are cordially invited to geek out below and show off their mastery of libertarian space operas. Three: After you’re done chuckling over this idiot’s crude propaganda, read this piece from former secretary of state Robert Noriega about Venezuela’s Evil Clown hosting a terror summit in Caracas last year with representatives from Hamas and Hezbollah. No surprise there; he and Iran, which sponsors both organizations, have made common cause against America for years. What’s surprising is Noriega’s claim that the ties go beyond occasional chitchat to include terror training facilities inside Venezuela. That’s a risky proposition for Iran given the possibility of Chavez being deposed, so if it’s true, they’re obviously keenly interested in establishing a base somewhere in the western hemisphere. I wonder why.