I’m shocked. Crown Royal? I thought Her Majesty was a vodka drinker.

Coming soon: Hillary heads down to the range to squeeze off a few shots from her new .45. Will she don a cowboy hat for the occasion? Only she and her pollster know for sure!

Update: She’s trying. Not very effectively, but she’s trying.

In Goldsboro, close observers noticed a (light) smattering of stickers being worn by attendees. “I’m not bitter!” read the simple rectangular label on the lapels of a couple dozen in the crowd. The campaign says that the stickers are evidence of outrage at the grassroots level.

Yet it’s unclear how spontaneous the sentiment was. A boxful of the stickers was spotted at Clinton’s first event of the day — being whisked backstage…

The Clinton campaign in NC takes responsibility for the stickers, per a campaign aide, but says that the idea originally came from a volunteer.

Update: The Smartest Woman in the World sadly concludes that a guy who raises more money per month than her and McCain combined, and for whom most of American media is hip-deep in the tank, is doomed to defeat in the election.

Update: She simply must be joking:

“We don’t get bogged down and looking back – we’re always looking forward,” she said, as heavy applause nearly drowned out her words. “Whatever obstacle we see, we get over it. Whatever challenge we have, we meet it. We’re the problem-solvers, we’re the innovators, we’re the people who make the better future.”

Americans don’t quit, baby! In other news, Hillary promises withdrawal from Iraq within 60 days of her inauguration.

Update: Stop. Please. In the name of god/Obama, stop.

“I disagree with Sen. Obama’s assertion that people in our country cling to guns and have certain attitudes about trade and immigration simply out of frustration,” she began, referring to the Obama comments on small-town Americans that set off a political tumult on Friday.

She then introduced a fond memory from her youth.

“You know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught me how to shoot when I was a little girl,” she said.

Update: Further to the Politico link in one of the updates above, here she is finally making her doubts about Obama’s viability public. No surprise: Politico’s not the first source to claim she and Bill think Barry O can’t win, but it’s bound to be generate all sorts of exquisite fake outrage from his supporters, so enjoy the aftermath. Belated exit question: Er, aren’t her concerns here quite reasonable?

Clinton also threatened that these comments could really hurt the Democratic Party – making a veiled comparison to what happened to John Kerry and Al Gore.

“The Democratic party has been unfortunately viewed by many people over the last decades as being elitist and out of touch we have waged elections over that you don’t have to think too far to remember that good men running for president were viewed as being elitist and out of touch with the values and the lives of millions of Americans. So I think this is a very significant concern that people have expressed. You know the front page of the paper today in Scranton is very pointed and the mayor and mayors across Pennsylvanian and people across our country have all reacted,” she said.