Great news: Thor's getting a sex change

To cleanse the palate. He’s got long blonde hair, wears an elaborate costume, and is forever swinging around a large phallic totem. If it was a guitar, I’d have assumed he’s in a hair-metal band and left it at that. But a hammer? The man’s overcompensating. He’s got a secret.

A big one, as it turns out.

Who’s up for a 37-issue series in which Thor quietly contemplates how much harder life is as a woman?

This October, Marvel Comics evolves once again in one of the most shocking and exciting changes ever to shake one of the “big three” of Captain American, Iron Man and Thor. No longer is the classic Thunder God able to hold the mighty hammer, Mjölnir, and a brand new female hero will emerge worthy of the name THOR…

“The inscription on Thor’s hammer reads ‘Whosoever holds this hammer, if HE be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.’ Well it’s time to update that inscription,” says Marvel editor Wil Moss. “The new Thor continues Marvel’s proud tradition of strong female characters like Captain Marvel, Storm, Black Widow and more. And this new Thor isn’t a temporary female substitute – she’s now the one and only Thor, and she is worthy!”

Series writer Jason Aaron emphasizes, “This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is THOR. This is the THOR of the Marvel Universe. But it’s unlike any Thor we’ve ever seen before.”

I wish Marvel would leave the social commentary to more sophisticated comics, like Archie. Follow the link above for confirmation that, yes, of course Trans-Thor is buxom, which goes to show you that certain core comics conventions must be observed even while in the process of shattering others. In fact, a Twitter pal makes a good point: If you look closely, you’ll see that Thor’s iron breastplate inexplicably yet conveniently ends right below the bra-line, leaving some skin exposed squarely in the center of her midsection. Looks like Trans-Thor is less concerned with protecting her sternum than with giving her male opponents a peek. So much for female empowerment. It’s going to hurt when Loki calls her “Whor.”

Exit question: This is nothing but a pretext to phase Chris Hemsworth out and phase Jennifer Lawrence in, isn’t it?