Archie to be shot dead while saving gay best friend who called for gun control

posted at 2:01 pm on July 14, 2014 by Allahpundit

My thoughts exactly:

We should have known. There’s campy, there’s John Waters campy, and then there’s wearing a crown to school every day.

No, actually, the gay friend here is Kevin Keller, whom they introduced back in 2010 and then married off in 2012 in the first “Archie” gay wedding. Having re-written the “boy torn between two girls” storyline eight thousand times in the past 75 years, the writers wanted something more “impactful,” to borrow an atrocious word favored by the company’s CEO. That’s understandable, but … they work for Archie comics. They’re not “impactful,” by definition. Sticking Archie Andrews in the middle of an assassination narrative is like redoing “Goofus and Gallant” so that Goofus is a meth head. When you lose the innocence, you lose part of the charm.

Coming next month to “Archie”: Betty’s forced to scrape together eight bucks for birth control when her boss cuts off coverage after the Hobby Lobby ruling.

In “Life with Archie,” Keller is a married military veteran and newly elected senator who’s pushing for more gun control in Riverdale after his husband was involved in a shooting.

“We wanted to do something that was impactful that would really resonate with the world and bring home just how important Archie is to everyone,” said Goldwater. “That’s how we came up with the storyline of saving Kevin. He could have saved Betty. He could have saved Veronica. We get that, but metaphorically, by saving Kevin, a new Riverdale is born.”…

“Archie is not a superhero like all the rest of the comic book characters,” said Goldwater. “He’s human. He’s a person. When you wound him, he bleeds. He knows that. If anything, I think his death is more impactful because of that. We hope by showing how something so violent can happen to Archie, that we can — in some way — learn from him.”

I kinda like that they decided to kitchen-sink the “impactfulness” by making the story about gun control and about Archie’s respect for his gay friend. One or the other would have sufficed for buzz; either some random character dies in a shooting or Archie somehow dies protecting Keller. Instead, they’re grabbing hot topics by the fistful and flinging them at the wall. I wish, frankly, they would have gone way over the top and added a few more — the shooter, enraged by Israel’s actions in Gaza, is apprehended by Riverdale’s newest resident, a handsome illegal immigrant from Guatemala named Jose. Why be impactful when you can be the impactfullest?


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“We wanted to do something that was impactful that would really resonate with the world and bring home just how important Archie is to everyone,” said Goldwater.

“Impactful” is not a word.

Archie is important to everyone almost no one.

This will really resonate with nauseate those in the world who have common sense.

itsnotaboutme on July 15, 2014 at 5:14 AM

Apparently the Archie gang never saw The Fonze jump the shark…

Skip2014 on July 15, 2014 at 6:16 AM

Apparently the Archie gang never saw The Fonze jump the shark…

Skip2014 on July 15, 2014 at 6:16 AM

Indeed. I was going to suggest we all email screenshots of just that to the CEO.

wearyman on July 15, 2014 at 7:29 AM

When liberals attack.

wepeople on July 15, 2014 at 7:30 AM

Not sure if this has been mentioned yet but there used to be Archie Comics specifically aimed towards Christians. And yes, these were official Archie comics.

DethMetalCookieMonst on July 15, 2014 at 8:02 AM

But maybe when lefty mothers start aborting babies for being gay you’ll change your mind.

gwelf on July 14, 2014 at 3:32 PM

Actually they’ll abort their babies for being straight. Remember, these are lefties. They are always trying to one-up each other in how “progressive” they are.

DethMetalCookieMonst on July 15, 2014 at 8:21 AM

If Doonesbury ever goes leftwing then I’m done with it.

Bishop on July 14, 2014 at 2:40 PM

You must not be paying attention to it. Some of his are so clearly left -wing biased that they run them on the op-ed page of my local paper. Even the ones in the Sunday comics are often little but liberal snarks.

katiejane on July 15, 2014 at 8:36 AM

Killing Archie? I thought these were comic books.

Kissmygrits on July 15, 2014 at 9:11 AM

We hope by showing how something so violent can happen to Archie, that we can — in some way — learn from him.”

“And by showing Ned Stark beheaded maybe we can show it can happen to anyone”

“We hope by having Superman fly, we can learn from that, that we can all fly.”

“It is our hope that when Green Lantern is speeding through space in his green bubble, we will all learn the universe is a place we can travel together.”

Do these people even realize they are writing fiction? Do they even realize who deluded and lost in the fictional world they created they sound?

If Doonesbury ever goes leftwing then I’m done with it.

Don’t need a /sarc tag for this one. At least I hope you’re being sarcastic. I don’t even read Doonesbury any more for the liberal talking points they push.

PastorJon on July 15, 2014 at 9:16 AM

Do these people even realize they are writing fiction? Do they even realize who deluded and lost in the fictional world they created they sound?

PastorJon on July 15, 2014 at 9:16 AM

In fairness to them, I have always seen art in general as an attempt to capture a snapshot of the human condition, and help us learn a little more about ourselves. This is especially true with science fiction literature, where outlandish settings highlight the nature of humanity by offering a very stark contrast.

Having said that, what exactly is it that we are supposed to learn from Archie? That a person can get shot? Hate to break it to you but Archie is not the first comic book character to die. And after the Superman debacle 20 years ago, nobody even takes comic-book death seriously any more. Most people will now view such as a publicity stunt, like when Brian was “killed” on Family Guy. And while they would be cynical to say so, they would also be correct.

The Schaef on July 15, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Killing Archie? I thought these were comic books.

Kissmygrits on July 15, 2014 at 9:11 AM

Nah, they’re propaganda vehicles for the communists now.

They’re turning Thor into a woman now. /shakes head

So much for all that great Marvel mojo. I am finished with them.

dogsoldier on July 15, 2014 at 1:05 PM

Why be impactful when you can be the impactfullest?

Why be sort of sh!tty, when you can be completely full of sh!t? (Referring to the comic, not AP.)

earlgrey on July 15, 2014 at 1:38 PM

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