Don’t tell me you’re not going to miss it when this carnival ride finally ends. This freak and his staff have provided hours of free, quality entertainment to news consumers. Per this new TPM report, the campaign’s basically turned into a Christopher Guest mockumentary. In a few weeks it’ll all be gone, and then what will we have to talk about? Expect a long lonely autumn of atheism posts, my friends.
Anyway, now I’m confused: Is Anthony Weiner pro-slutbag or anti-slutbag?
“I’m dealing with like stupid f***ing interns who make it on to the cover of the Daily News even though they signed NDAs and/or they proceeded to trash me,” [spokesman Barbara] Morgan told TPM, referring to a non-disclosure agreement. “And by the way, I tried to fire her, but she begged to come back and I gave her a second chance.”
Morgan went on to suggest Nuzzi would be unable to get a job in New York City’s political scene as a result of her actions.
“F***ing slutbag. Nice f***ing glamour shot on the cover of the Daily News. Man, see if you ever get a job in this town again,” said Morgan…
“It’s all bullsh*t,” she said. “I mean, it’s such bullsh*t. She could f***ng — f***ing tw*t.”…
“And then like she had the f***ing balls to like trash me in the paper. And be like, ‘His communications director was last the press secretary of the Department of Education in New Jersey,” Morgan said. “You know what? F*** you, you little c***. I’m not joking, I am going to sue her.”
She later apologized, saying she thought the conversation was off the record because that would have made it okay, I guess. Normally I hate seeing people fired but I’ll make an exception here just because it’d be hilarious to see Anthony Weiner can someone for behaving inappropriately. “She might have cost me the election,” he’ll say, in all delusional seriousness. That’s when we’ll know for sure that this really is a Guest comedy, or some sort of Joaquin-Phoenix-style media prank.
By the way, I realize that the going theory on Weiner is that he ran this time in the full expectation that new scandal material would surface, and that if he toughed it out and endured the humiliation, he’d have a clean slate for his “real” mayoral run in 2017. Think he expected to see passages like this about him in the country’s most esteemed newspaper, though?
Some [psychologists] suggested the indiscretions might be an addiction with neurological roots. Others theorized that Mr. Weiner, a Democratic candidate for mayor of New York, could be meeting sexual needs unsatisfied in a marriage. And still others said he might be driven by a combination of a mood disorder and feelings of inadequacy to seek reassurance about his masculinity from women he had never met…
“It’s almost as if a little child were playing at being a politician and trying to hide something,” Dr. Friedman said. “The level of denial is so great, and it’s so incompatible with major responsibility, that the psychological puzzle is not only to find out why he’s doing the particular behavior, but why somebody would be functioning at such an uneven level.”…
“There’s a different type of narcissism that’s based on self-esteem problems, in which the person then defensively covers up by saying: ‘Aren’t I wonderful? Look at my wonderful organ. Isn’t it beautiful?’” he said.
If you need a slogan for the Weiner campaign, you could do a lot worse than that. His wife, meanwhile, has decided to take a “vacation” from her work for Hillary Clinton, which I’m sure was in no way at Hillary’s request and in no way connected to the meeting Huma had with Hillary spokesman Phillippe Reines a few nights ago. This guy’s clusterfark is now hurting his wife’s career. And still he refuses to quit, despite having zero chance of winning. Look at his wonderful organ. Isn’t it beautiful?
Ah well. Having alienated slutbags, I guess Weiner has no choice now but to target the ho-bag vote. Exit quotation:
Funniest part of that Weiner spox rant: Insisting Nuzzi "won't work in this town again." Like an ANTHONY WEINER FLACK has a say in that
— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) July 31, 2013