Finally: The geriatric Stallone/Schwarzenegger buddy caper that America's been waiting for

We badly need a palate cleaner after this afternoon’s amnestymania, so here you go. I realize they were together onscreen in the two “Expendables” movies, but those were ensembles. Am I right in thinking this is the first time the two preeminent action stars of the 80s have done a buddy flick? Good lord. I’m as excited for this as I was for the big DeNiro/Pacino set piece in “Heat.” Except that this will be less hammy.

You will see this movie, not because it’ll be especially good or because anyone’s interested in Stallone or Schwarzenegger anymore but because all of us of a certain age grew up hoping against hope that Hollywood would one day give us a “Rambo vs. the Terminator” mother-of-all-action movies and this is as close we’re going to get. Imagine that. Two sixtysomethings having a fistfight in a prison, and that’s as close as we’ll get. Just one more sign of America’s decline.

One other reason to see it: “Lock Up,” Stallone’s other prison movie, is a true camp classic. If this is half as cheesy-good, it’ll be just fine.