To cleanse the palate, a dollop of distressingly plausible holiday-themed satire. This is coming from the Onion, so naturally the joke is ultimately flattering to President Spock: He’s so darned thoughtful and conscientious that not even the most minor decision escapes his intellect’s penetrating stare. Even so, don’t let that deter you. The photoshops are worth it, especially the one of The One questioning his victim.
Obama Outlines Moral, Philosophical Justifications For Turkey Pardon