Lawyer for new sexy Russian spy: You only care because she's sexy

How dumb is this story? Dumb enough that even CBS’s crime blog has taken to running photo galleries of her replete with bikini pics swiped from Facebook in a transparent bid to squeeze more traffic from the buzz. In fact, not only might she not be a spy, she’s not even Russian. She’s Latvian, the daughter of Jewish political refugees, who’s charged with trying to smuggle three military-grade night-vision rifle scopes onto her flight to Russia. Which, assuming it’s true, sounds like the lamest spy op ever. (Er, except for the last one.)

Two possibilities then. One: This is a big misunderstanding. Two: This is part of a diabolical Kremlin plot to infiltrate America using really hot women so that, if/when they’re caught, lovestruck dummies like me will say, “Aw, she seems nice. She should have a TV show.”

Her attorney, Scott Palmer, tells Unfair Park that she’s anything but a spy or a terrorist — in fact, he says, “the government’s not even saying that.” He explains:

Her husband has a friend in Russia who’s “big in to hunting, and it’s expensive over there — only the rich can do it.” So Anna’s husband asked her — why, we’re still not sure yet — to buy the scopes and bring them with her to Russia, where she splits her time. “And she did,” Palmer says…

“But it’s good timing for the New York press to slander her,” he says. “She’s not a spy. The government’s not even saying that. She’s not a spy. There is no terrorism link, no espionage. It’s sexier than it looks, and that’s only because she’s attractive.”

All just a mishap? Well, the feds apparently got a tip that she was smuggling the scopes and, allegedly, “[s]he had removed or obscured all the identifying marks.” On the other hand, does this sound like it’s worth 10 years in prison?

Asked if she knew taking them out of the country was illegal, she said she “signed something about that” but was “not really sure what she was signing,” the papers say…

Agents confiscated the scopes but allowed her to fly to Moscow – then arrested her when she returned to U.S. soil this month…

“She bought them legally. They are available for purchase on the Internet, you just need a license to export them,” Palmer said.

That’s from the Daily News, which, apropos of nothing, goes on to note that she has a pierced belly button and has been known to dress as a “sexy pirate.” As for the scopes, a spy could buy them, record the specs, and e-mail the info to Moscow, but gets a decade behind bars for putting them in a suitcase? Hmmm. Recommended punishment: Three months of eyelash-batting followed by a suspended sentence of five years of pouting. Go get her, media!