Alternate headline: “Obama figures out ingenious way to get hawks to support closing Gitmo.”

While the 181 men being held in the prison wait to learn their fates after the administration fell through on its January 2010 deadline to move them out, 90 percent now live in a communal environment that includes Skype, the online video chat service, and access to a 17,000-book library.

That’s up from 40 percent of detainees a year ago.

The “Twilight” series, a hit among so-called “tweens,” is also popular with detainees, the camp’s “librarian” said.

Only “highly compliant” detainees can be a part of “communal living,” which locks detainees in their cells for four hours a day and means they are “afforded more liberties” and “more freedom of movement,” said Lt. Col. Andrew McManus, who oversees operations for the detention camps at Guantanamo Bay, as Fox News tagged along for a tour of the facilities there.

At Camp 6, a minimum security facility within sight of bright Caribbean waters, detainees can now watch flatscreen TVs suspended from above (and encased in protective plastic) or attend classes on personal finance — all while their feet are chained to the floor.

Skype privileges are limited to one hour every three months and calls are monitored, of course. As for TV, satellite reception during the World Cup was reportedly poor so the camp staff thoughtfully Tivo’d the games for the inmates and then showed them the next day. I’m almost glad, just thinking about what the reaction must have been to the last-minute U.S. victory over Algeria.

Here’s something from The Onion that came out a few weeks ago. The war on terror is now officially parody-proof, my friends. Exit question: Is KSM “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob,” do you think?