You can watch the whole 16-minute speech in high-rez at the White House’s YouTube account, but since most people won’t do that, I’m giving you Politico’s four-minute highlight reel. They caught most of the funnier moments, but not all. Where’s The One calling Michael Steele the “Notorious GOP” and saying Steele really knows “what plagues America today, taxation without representin'”? And where’s this stuff?

“Speaking of undeserved honors,” the president said in his stand-up routine, “a few weeks ago, I was able to throw out the first pitch at the Nationals game…. It was high and wide.” FOX News reported it as the president pandering to the left wing, he said, while MSNBC declared: “President pitches a no-hitter.”…

“Of course, that’s not the only thing we’ve been accused of socialiizing this year,” he said. “You might have heard we passed a healthcare bill… Some Republicans have claimed the bill includes a few secret provisions. That’s ridiculous. There aren’t a few secret provisions in the healthcare bill, there are like hundreds….”

Such as “The Bay State denial: This bill shall cover short-term memory loss with regard to healthcare reform. So good news Mitt, your condition is covered,” Obama said aloud to one of the Republican Party’s likely candidates for president in 2012, Mitt Romney of Massachusetts.

The best lines: His birth-certificate jab and his goof on Leno, which made me chuckle. As for the section of the speech about Politico, CNN’s camera inexplicably didn’t cut away to the photoshopped Politico covers that the White House prepared for the event. If you want to see the sight gag as it was intended, go to the YouTube version of the speech up top and skip ahead to 9:00.

The worst line? Even lefties admit that they’d have gone berserk had this crack come from Bush:

“Jonas brothers are here, they’re out there somewhere. Sasha annd Malia are huge fans, but boys, don’t get any ideas. Two words for you: predator drones. You will never see it coming. You think I’m joking?”

Exit question: Did The One actually drop the F-bomb in his one-liner about Biden? Oh well — it’s not like we’ve never heard him curse before.