The sadly obligatory "Tiger comes clean" post

Looks like this is the big story of the day, god help us. Young billionaire guilty of “transgressions.” Film at 11.

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.

But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don’t share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one’s own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions.

The boss concedes that the tabloids are berserk but says ultimately it’s just desserts for a guy who should have known better. Which is fair enough: It is rather nuanced for the world’s most famous athlete to suddenly affect shock that the media’s interested in him. But day after day of embarrassment, invasions of privacy, betrayals by intimate acquaintances, and relentless stress being put on the whole extended family — Mrs. Woods included — makes me queasy, like watching a boxer who’s out on his feet get pounded against the ropes. If he thinks throwing in the towel by ‘fessing up now is going to stop the fight, he’s kidding himself. He should have followed Ruth Marcus’s advice and taken a stand for privacy by clamming up and telling the press to mind its own business. If there are any just desserts to be administered, I’m sure his wife and a fleet of divorce lawyers can handle it. (Speaking of just desserts, what about hers?)

For your viewing pleasure, a re-creation of the accident from Chinese TV. It may be the only amusing thing to come out of this fiasco.