If he’s serious about announcing the pick this week to torpedo Obama’s coverage, the day of the big Berlin speech is obviously the day to do it. The event in Ohio wasn’t announced until last night; the fact that Portman will be joining him wasn’t announced until this morning. Cursory appearance before the hometown crowd or something more significant? Probably the former, but he does indeed have the requisite economic expertise and swing-state pedigree Maverick’s looking for. Question: What’s even duller than a “boring, normal, mainstream Republican white guy”? Answer: A boring, normal, mainstream Republican white guy even most conservatives couldn’t pick out of a line up.

Choosing a no-name veep would be the perfect capper to a week of Obama counterprogramming so dismal that McCain’s big event this morning opposite the Berlin coverage is a grab-and-grin at the local Sausage Haus in Columbus. Click the image below to watch how he spent his day yesterday. Remember, one of Bush’s advance men was brought in earlier this month, after the green-screen fiasco, to spice up his event planning. What’s next, boys? A fundraiser at the International House of Pancakes?