The cell-phone videos were a hoax, but what we’re seeing here, I suspect, is nothing more or less than the very first bona fide Obamessianic miracle. I bet the popcorn tastes like a combination of steak, Newcastle, and an iPhone pulverized in a food processor and lightly dusted with fine cocoa powder. Repent.

Exit question: Is this what Morford meant by “Lightworker”? That he’s capable of literally radiating good vibes?