Pro-life, pro-federalism, anti-amnesty, and bonded to their man by a hero-worship so fanatic they’ve convinced themselves he’s the only man who can save America: It’s a natural match. Except for the war, of course, which is receding as an issue anyway. As the ‘Heads cling to the side of a narrow platform in the Death Star’s air shaft, Lord Vader extends his hand. Will you take it, my friends?

In case not, aside from developing a southern accent, what can Romney say or do to make you feel better about him? Not all Fredheads will be breaking for him but many will, and potentially many more if he can conjure a little Reagan mojo. Ace wants some sort of Thompson-esque “These Things I Believe” address with a little amnesty moratorium sprinkled in to make McCain blink and remind the base of how much he reeks on immigration. Romney can’t give that address, though. He can give a “These Things I Believe Now” address, but that’s the whole problem, isn’t it? If he can parrot the talking points, he can parrot the bedrock conservative principles that allegedly underlie those talking points so how will you ever believe him? He’s better off skipping any more major speeches lest he become known as the guy who keeps having to “define himself” and just start talking about the economy and attacking McCain on immigration and CFR every chance he gets. Find a demon and slay him, Mitt. That’s what you’ll do in the general if you’re running against Hillary. McCain is the Hillary of the Republican primary.

What say you, Fredheads?