Contrary to prior reports, she didn’t leap — she was pushed, or so she says. No wonder she’s so pissy about Whoopi’s ratings. Consider this closure for all the longtime HA readers who suffered with us through the saga, day by excruciating day. The question is, is it true? In the magical realm where fire can’t melt steel, objective reality can be hard to come by. Big Ro may have talked herself into believing Barbara pulled the trap door on her just because it feeds her martyr complex to do so.

But never mind all that. There’s a reason I’m linking this garbage and it has nothing to do with Rosie’s contract status. My Friday gift to our beloved patrons. You’re welcome:

Rosie claimed onstage that Walters and other “View” couchmates wear earpieces through which producers tell them what to say, which she refused to do.

Rosie also confided that she and the veteran newswoman were actually so close early on in her tenure as moderator that Walters recommended Rosie use Astroglide, which, she added, took her by surprise.

Let it stay with you forever. In fact, what the hell — here’s a little something extra, just to thank you for being you.