I suddenly felt a tune come on.
Who can take an Apple,
Cover it in Commie slime?
Jammed packed with junkies, crooks, Jew-haters,
And in record time?
Mamdani Man can!
The Mamdani Man can!
Mamdani Man makes everything he hates
Look dissatisfying and suspicious.
While promising to grant your wishes,
He consigns your future to the fishes.
Who will take tomorrow,
And flush it down the drain?
Smiling all the while
His shell-shocked peasants writhe in pain?
The Mamdani Man can!
Oh, the Mamdani Man can!
~ Apologies to The Candyman Can
I don't know why. Perhaps it was a video from the mayor-elect of New York City this morning.
That smiling, amiable, cute-as-a-button fellow who...gosh.
Seems a little different all of a sudden.
He was so angry the night he won.
And now?
Whoo, boy.
Don't you know he has plans for you guys in the city.
You simply must watch. And do PAY ATTENTION.
Thank you, New York City. Together we made history.
— Zohran Kwame Mamdani (@ZohranKMamdani) November 5, 2025
Now let’s get to work. https://t.co/G7F2sbda74 pic.twitter.com/GQABMqJHgn
This is the cutest shift I've ever seen.
So quirky and adorable, right? Don't you want to just eat him up?
See how he's still smiling? Well, don't eat him up. Start sending him your money again..
WHO COULD RESIST?!?!
And here I thought I was cynical.
Zohar Mamdani…
— C3 (@C_3C_3) November 5, 2025
11/4: Vote for me for free stuff.
11/5: Give me your money.
Typical Communist Swindler. pic.twitter.com/UqSjcW01iH
Then again, being a proud member of the knuckle-dragging classes, I wasn't voting for him had I been able to in any event. Nor apparently did any of the truck drivers or plumbers in, say, Brooklyn.
BREAKING: Exit polls show non–college-educated New Yorkers overwhelmingly voted against Zohran Mamdani — while the city’s most privileged, privately educated elites voted for him.
— Eyal Yakoby (@EYakoby) November 5, 2025
He’s not the candidate of the working class. He’s the candidate of the cocktail class. pic.twitter.com/kg6EvBEdfP
No, it was all these frustrated, angry, overeducated thirty-somethings with too many hormones raging and not enough intelligence to counteract the effects.
Golly Nell. I hate to think about the student debt all these ignorant chicas have piled up becoming so insufferably and smugly uneducated. https://t.co/uUufsHQZo0
— tree hugging sister 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) November 5, 2025
But they've gone and done it, whatever their limited, self-interested view of the world may be at any given time in their chemically altered menstrual cycles, and now the city gets to live with the results.
Mamdani's got to start being the Destructor somewhere, and has to build a team of like-minded progressive parasites to burrow into the soft belly of the city's innards.
For one thing, he's taking applications. Somehow, I get the feeling you're going to need a picture on your LinkedIn profile.
You know. To ensure you're the proper hue to qualify as 'inclusive.' I have no doubt that requirement will be considered long before talent - call it intuition on my part.
We’re building a talented, inclusive, and mission-driven team of public servants dedicated to improving the lives of New Yorkers.
If you’re passionate about public service and interested in contributing to this work, we invite you to share your resume using the portal below.
Submissions will be added to our talent database and reviewed by the Transition Appointments Team as we identify candidates for roles across City agencies and offices.
Phones are reportedly already ringing off the hook, but I can't speak to Mamdani's recruitment efforts for fellow Commies and welchers. I'm talking about New Yorkers who have sufficient enough resources to get the hell out of the city and save themselves while there's still time.
It seems there's a sudden surge of interest interest in doing so.
I don't understand it when the new mayor seems so perky and well-intended, but there it is.
Real estate agents are being bombarded with calls this morning from panicked New Yorkers desperate to flee after Zohran Mamdani’s mayoral victory last night.
The most desirable destinations are said to be the city's affluent suburbs and Republican strongholds across the Sun Belt.
Agents, from Westchester and Greenwich to Florida, Texas and the Carolinas, said they have seen a surge in calls from New Yorkers desperate to relocate.
Some residents are said to be searching within commuting distance, while others are looking to get as far away as possible.
'We are seeing interest from New York City intensify because of the election,' Dina Goldentayer, a Douglas Elliman agent in Florida, told the Daily Mail.
'The city's area codes 917 and 212 are popping up now almost as much as they did at the height of the Covid pandemic.
'Most of the calls are from buyers, many Wall Street execs, looking in the $20 million to $30 million range. Specifically for waterfront houses or oceanfront condos.'
No big deal, though, right? There are always sore losers anytime the opposition wins an election. Shoot. We get that all the time.
One or ten or even a hundred sort of well-to-do types or even millionaires leaving the metro area isn't going to be a bi...oh.
...Nearly one million New Yorkers are prepping to flee the city after Mamdani's win, according to a survey conducted by JL Partners for the Daily Mail.
Di Lemme said once residents move, they realize the quality of life is better, too.
'Executives can fly to New York for a morning meeting and be home for dinner in Florida,' she said.
'Families enjoy A-rated schools, year-round warmth, and communities designed for luxury, wellness, and balance.
WHO CAN EMPTY A CITY IN RECORD TIME?
Well, it sure looks like The Mamdani Man can!
And, if contrary to this sweet young believer's assertions that barons of Wall Street will never leave New York, what if they do?
That's okay with her. She's a professor well-versed in the same Commie math as The Mamdani Man.
🚨SHOCKING: Mamdani voter says that when the billionaires leave due to high taxes - the middle class should have taxes raised
— Cam Higby 🇺🇸 (@camhigby) November 6, 2025
“Tax the shit out of EVERYBODY”
These people view you as slaves. Wake up. pic.twitter.com/zIcMIfHv65
Gosh. I see nothing but good times ahead.
Not to mention, Mamdani's already saving them money.
To the incoming mayor's credit, it looks like the city won't be paying those huge longevity bonuses to senior officials, because who can clear out senior emergency services management faster than a firehose?
NYFD Fire Commissioner @FDNYFC is the first of many who will be exiting thanks to the election of Mayor Mamdani. https://t.co/k76X2WILk5
— Joel M. Petlin (@Joelmpetlin) November 5, 2025
The answer's obvious.
The Mamdani Man can!!
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