This morning, I watched one of the most unintentionally hilarious and absolutely maddening videos I think I've ever seen.

Mark Zuckerberg, lizard-like bazillionaire founder of Facebook and creator of Meta World, parked at a table earnestly addressing what's wrong with censorship online.

EXCUSE ME, WHUT?!

It was as if the reviled reptilian replicant we've known and despised all these years had suddenly awoken from a deep slumber, like a slick Rip Van Winkle. Only instead of waking up under a tree in Tarrytown, Zuckerberg shed his skin to reveal something akin to a human - with a head of hair, no less - and rubbed his lizard blinkers in wonder at the new world around him.

He seems to have no memory of his role, actively engaging for years to prevent this new day from dawning. No residual inkling of how hard he worked to enable and enforce the very censorship and surveillance he now professes to be shocked by, and zero culpability for the devastating effects of the harsh, unassailable, and unyielding banishments his companies enforced had on the millions of regular people, most of whom were merely expressing opinions.

This is an amazing piece of theater where someone completely reinvents themself. And proceeds to act like he's doing us this huge favor by sharing the big secret that there had fascist assholes - not him, of course - who had worked against the free exchange of information and expression of the American people.

He almost looks human, doesn't he?

Here is the full video from Mark Zuckerberg announcing the end of censorship and misinformation policies.

I highly recommend you watch all of it as tonally it is one of the biggest indications of "elections have consequences" I have ever seen pic.twitter.com/aYpkxrTqWe

— Saagar Enjeti (@esaagar) January 7, 2025

Don't be fooled by the replicant supplicant.

It certainly looks like so many are willing to believe in the miraculous switcherooski, the magic wand of: 

"No fact checkers! Community notes just like Elon! He said FREEDOM! Holy crap - he's moving to TEXAS!"

It looks as if Progs over on Bluesky can't decide whether to laugh or tear their hair and rend their clothing in anguish at the news of the Lizard Man's defection from their censorial bubble.

No more biased fact checkers! When does The Dispatch lose its contract and go under? pic.twitter.com/9GXKNEGONZ

— Bluesky Libs (@BlueskyLibs) January 7, 2025

The concept of Facebook being an open stretch of freely expressed opinions and memes again is terrifying to the Left, while so many on the Right are ready to unconditionally celebrate the apparent flip.

Voilà! Suddenly, Zuckerberg is anointed and ordained Meta MAGA?

I'm sorry, I'm not fallin' for the lizard in the tailpipe trick. 

Bullshit. He hasn't "switched" shit. He's the same fascist he always was, just in survival mode https://t.co/ZCK1IBcPXW

— tree hugging s*ster 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) January 7, 2025

Well, exactly.

Anyone who trusts that Mark Zuckerberg has good intentions also believes in Santa Claus. pic.twitter.com/0530acSYLv

— Dr. Simon Goddek (@goddeketal) January 7, 2025

A fascist snek is a fascist snek.

I remember, even if it's slipped Zuck's sleepy memory because, gosh - this isn't like being accused of leering at someone during a drunken high school party in 1991.

This was, like, only four years ago.

His money. $400+M of it.

“Zuckerbucks” Were a Problem in the 2020 Election

~ In 2020, Mark Zuckerberg and his wife, Priscilla Chan, spent more than $400 million
to influence elections across the country.

~ The Center for Tech and Civic Life (CTCL) received $350 million from the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative and provided “COVID-19 response” election administration grants to thousands of local election offices.

CTCL grants (or “Zuckerbucks”) were disproportionally siphoned to left-leaning counties to boost Democrat turnout and influence the 

• The grants gave outsiders a say in how the election was administered by allowing them to dictate how election offices spent funds.
• Targeted funds allowed election offices of CTCL’s choosing to spend more on voter registration drives and get-out-the-vote efforts.
• By paying poll workers and furnishing election offices with new equipment, grants created a direct financial relationship between election administrators and a third party with special interests.
• Acceptance of private funding put pressure on grant recipients to allow CTCL-affiliated operatives to assist in election administration, including assisting with curing absentee ballots.
• Gave CTCL unprecedented access to ballot information, including daily reports of absentee ballot counts and the keys to at least one mail-in ballot storage room.
• The grants helped direct election officials toward CTCL-approved training and helped CTCL connect election officials with other left-leaning organizations to try and influence election practices.

His happy Facebook fascists have always been busy bees stomping millions of conservative viewpoints... 

Facebook Deleting Coronavirus Posts, Leading To Charges Of Censorship

Facebook and other tech companies are working hard to curb misinformation on their platforms about the emerging COVID-19 or Coronavirus pandemic.

Maybe too hard.

“Facebook is blocking COVID-19 posts from fact based sources,” a Facebook friend who noticed it told me. “Facebook is hiding these posts. At the time of viral pandemic this shouldn’t be happening.”

...as far back as Benghazi (couldn't allow criticism of The Lightbringer)...

A message posted on Facebook by Navy SEALS claiming that President Obama denied them backup as forces overran Benghazi was taken down twice by the social networking site.

The move has stoked accusations that Facebook was censoring the SEALs’ message to ‘quietly squelch opposition’ to President Obama’s alleged failures.

The message contained in a meme suggesting that Obama relied on the SEALS when he wanted to get Osama bin Laden, but then turned round and denied them back up when they called for it in Benghazi.

...with no subject unworthy of the heavy hand of Facebook censors (sometimes colluding with outside 'fact checkers')...

Facebook censored pro-life advertisements on late-term abortion based off an “independent fact check” by NeverTrumper media outlet The Dispatch.

...and no litany of Facebook fascist egregious freedom stompings would be complete without Hunter Biden and his laptop that wasn't real. 

Until it was after the GOP took control of Congress and started calling these weasels in to answer for seeming constitutional rights infringements against Americans.

Pathetic Zuck's excuse, "Waaah! The FBI made me do it." Doesn't fly. Not at all.

Facebook suppressed stories about Hunter Biden’s laptop before the 2020 election after the FBI told the company they should look out for Russian “misinformation,” Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg told podcast host Joe Rogan Thursday.

The “distribution” of the bombshell report was suppressed on Facebook for “five or seven” days when it was being determined if the laptop was real, Zuckerberg said, but users could still “share it.”

Facebook engineers downgraded the report within the platform’s “ranking and newsfeed” features, so “fewer people saw it than would have otherwise,” he said.

Not to mention how Facebook tracks you better than a bluetick who got the scent from your old underwear. But, sure, people!

Let's trust the guy who swallows, digests, and stores every little bit of your data he and his minions possibly can.

...It’s estimated that Facebook classifies around 52,000 traits about each user.

This extensive profiling includes behavioral patterns, preferences, interests, and even inferred data about your personality and habits.

What’s more, you don’t even need to be an active user—or have an account at all—for Facebook to collect your data through their extensive network and third-party integrations.

Explicit Data

Explicit data is the information you voluntarily provide to Facebook. This include data such as:

• Photos: Each photo you upload carries a wealth of data, from the image content to metadata like location and camera type (see metadata below).
• Educational Background: Details like where you went to school, your degree, and graduation year.
• Likes and Interactions: Each like, share, and comment you make provides insight into your interests and social connections.

Over the years that you’ve been using Facebook, you’ve probably given them a lot more explicit data than you realize!

Metadata

Beyond the explicit data, Facebook collects the mostly hidden metadata, including:

• EXIF Data: Embedded in photos, revealing camera type, date, time, and GPS coordinates. This allows Facebook to map out your movements and lifestyle habits.
• Device Information: IP address, phone type, operating system, and precise location data gathered from the Facebook app. This data helps in creating a detailed digital fingerprint of your online and offline activities.

Facebook has even been known to exploit your mobile device notifications to collect more metadata about you.

Off-Facebook Activity

Off-Facebook activity is exactly what it sounds like – the internet activities you do that are not on Facebook. This involves tracking your internet activity through:

• Facebook Pixel: Installed on over 8 million websites, tracking your actions across the web. This pixel allows websites to monitor visitor actions and share that data with Facebook for ad targeting.
• Facebook Buttons: Like, Share, and login buttons on various sites. Each interaction with these buttons sends data back to Facebook, enhancing their understanding of your web behavior.

Even if you never visit the Facebook webpage or app on your device or browser, Facebook is still collecting data on your actions, which is scary.

Third-Party Data

Third-party data is the kind of data that Facebook receives from other companies about you. This data is generally collected from:

• Advertisers: Uploading your purchase history and interactions, providing Facebook with insights into your spending habits and preferences.
• Various Industries: Including automotive, retail, and credit monitoring services, which contribute additional layers of data about your activities and financial status.

No worries, though.

Zuckerberg’s out here like “look at me! I’m based now.” pic.twitter.com/53t1AMTTIy

— The Drunk Republican (@DrunkRepub) January 7, 2025

He's Meta MAGA now!

RIGHT

Today is definitely a step into a bold new world, regardless (Bossman had more on that earlier.)  As someone said on X, if Zuck's fireside chat this morning means folks will now be able to say boys are BOYS and girls are GIRLS on Meta platforms without being sent to jail, is that enough? 

It would surely be a positive start, and I will not deny it.

Is it sincere and sustainable? Or a survival gambit?

"The MOVE" will build trust.

No, Lizard Man - ACTIONS repeated ACTIONS 'build trust.'

If that's possible after all you have done to destroy it. https://t.co/YSAd2JMj1y

— tree hugging s*ster 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) January 7, 2025

...CEO Mark Zuckerberg says the move will "build trust in a place where there is less concern about bias." 

This comes as Meta looks to "restore free speech."

Time and Zuckerberg's deeds, fair or foul, will tell.

Color me a cynic for the long haul.