Gosh. I have not forsaken my vow not to watch any of it, but as I have been keeping up with the follies and lollies on X and in news briefs, I have to say the French have certainly covered themselves in, well, not glory.

I, being of little personal physical motivation myself (12 years in the Marine Corps took care of whatever natural inclination I'd stored up for a lifetime), still understand what a driven athlete, particularly a world-class one, needs to function at their peak potential, particularly when they're in a new venue for competition. Practice is imperative not only to shake out the stiffness of travel but also to stretch the old bones and muscles and accustom oneself to conditions in the new surroundings.

Triathletes in Paris - those phenomenal human machines - have literally been up Schlitz Creek since arriving in the City of Lights, and what an awful disadvantage.

As most of you know, a triathlon consists of three separate discipline events, all in one sporting event - an open-water swim, then long-distance bike race, all capped off by an actual marathon.

It was the open water portion that was causing the difficulties because the planned venue was the perpetually poo-polluted River Seine. Emmanuel Macron's government feverishly worked to clean the flowing cesspool running through the middle of Paris up enough that it would be safe for human beings to swim in (as one ingests a fair amount of water doing so in competition). But, even just a few weeks before the Olympics were due to start, alas. The E. coli count was still hovering around unacceptable levels. 

The French vowed to have it ready, they would do anything, and darned if they didn't come really close.

But then it rained on them.

Paris spent $1.5 billion to clean up the Seine River for the Olympics.

However, excess rain this past weekend swept millions of gallons of sewage into the river, and triathlon swim training has been canceled for the second day in a row due to E. coli levels.

What a *shit* show. pic.twitter.com/XJewu8829C

— Joe Pompliano (@JoePompliano) July 29, 2024

I don't want to point a finger at the opening ceremonies, but...hello.

The people most immediately affected by the ghastly turn in sub-par water quality were the triathletes, who never did get to practice and were threatened with a duathlon if the water didn't clear up before the games ended.

That didn't sit well with some of them, as they rightfully felt there should have been a safe and clean water venue from the beginning. Were the Olympics for athletic competition or for the French?

Fair question.

But, sans practice, the triathlons went off today.

Conditions in the river were still so questionable that even locals were horrified at a picture of a competitor rinsing their face in the water before the race started.

Mdrrrr mais lui il verra plus jamais la lumière du jour 😭😭😭😭#Paris2024 #triathlon #Seine pic.twitter.com/rti5W99zWz

— 𝚁𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚁𝚞𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝕏 (@RolandRuquier) July 31, 2024

The tweet basically translates to: You will never see the light of day again

YOICKS

I'll spare you any assorted videos of participants barfing up volumes - and I do mean volumes -  of brown river water as they exit to go find their bikes.

Sufficient to say I pray they all make it through the night with no ill effects.

The first swimmer emerging from the Seine river, in the Triathlon, stated the water quality was actually not that bad! #Olympics #Olympics2024 #Triathlon pic.twitter.com/d9M2Ab45lF

— Marc Bernard 🟦⬜️ (@marc_bernard77) July 31, 2024

A Brit won in the men's, and I believe a Frenchwoman took the gold in the ladies.

As for other problems encountered by athletes, it seems the French haven't made much progress with the berthing facilities. I told you the other day about how the French had decreed there would be more vegan offerings and sustainable food offerings for an Olympic competition that requires tremendous amounts of proteins to feed muscle and stamina. The French were so determined to have a Green Games they forgot about the athletic part.

Speaking on 2KY's The Big Sports Breakfast, the former Test captain revealed stars from multiple sports are said to be very unhappy at the food options, which include fake meat meals and non-dairy products.

...'From what I have heard, it is out of control as to how bad it is.

'You work your backside off for three to four years for this one moment...and now the athletes can't sleep [due to poor beds].

'Others can't get food.....one weightlifter was told he couldn't have more than two lamb chops...the bloke is 120kg, if he wants 15 lamb chops, give them to him.

Athletes need protein:
"Many athletes have had to rely on their own cooks and supplies or went outside the Olympic village to get a decent meal.

The French may be suffering from chronic ennui, but that’s no reason to try to make everyone else unhappy, too." @WSJopinion

— Michele Tafoya (@Michele_Tafoya) July 31, 2024

They haven't really fixed that. I knew the french were so proud there wasn't going to be air-conditioning. I can't fathom how miserable that has to be. But then there's another issue I hadn't heard about - the cardboard beds in the dorms.

VURT DA FURK

1. 🇫🇷💩Stuffy rooms and cardboard beds. The Olympic village in Paris is worse than a prison, athletes complain. There're no refrigerators, televisions or coffee machines. There're no air conditioners either. Olympians must purchase their own toilet paper. pic.twitter.com/bZh23UPMeK

— Vitaliy V (@VitaliyV13) July 24, 2024

Sustainable, uncomfortable, miserable cardboard beds are what the French put in those rooms, which would have been perfectly alright had something comfortable been placed on top of them.  

Teams are checking out the second they can find other accommodation.

In fact, one Australian swimmer says conditions in the Village impacted her swimming; they are so abysmal.

...Athletes and teams have also had to endure a lack of air conditioning in their rooms, lengthy walks to the cafeteria and overcrowded buses which often do not run on time.

Organisers at the Paris Games were determined to make this Olympics the most sustainable of all time, prioritising a green approach in almost every area.

However, the aggressive focus on being eco-friendly has resulted in appalling conditions for competitors striving for greatness in the French capital, meaning world records have been few and far between.

Others have labelled the Games 'woke'. 

Australian swimming queen Ariarne Titmus described the conditions as 'ridiculous' and said it played a factor in her missing out on a world record in the 400m freestyle final.

Yup. Covering themselves in anything but glory, but it has been illuminating.

France's Olympic village was supposed to showcase what our bright green future was supposed to look like.

It showcased our green future, all right

— Tom Woods (@ThomasEWoods) July 31, 2024

Maybe even taught a lesson or two to some young, dewy-eyed participant.

Maybe.

Optimism is truly renewable.