Double Trouble, Broil and Bubble

AP Photo/John Locher

Is it hot where you are right now?

Seems like the whole country's en fuego, judging by the temperature maps I've seen.

As meteorologist Ryan Maue noticed (tongue-in-cheek, so don't go off on him) CNN was having a most righteous melt-down...

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...because heat and hot has never happened before, ever, ever, EH-VAH.

Particularly never at the beginning of summer.

Come on - yeah, it might be warmer than usual in your neck of the woods, but for crying out loud. Take precautiions, drink plenty of fluids, watch out for your elderly neighbors, stay in the shade, protect your pets (lots of water and no walks on hot pavement), and give it a frickin' rest already.

Oh, wait - adults knew that. Alarmists are screaming "ELEVENTY!!!" into the void.

I mean, everybody's kind of having fun with the hyperventilating.

Well, Hochul does tend to be a bit of an extremist.

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We watch the CBS Evening News every night (we practice KNOW YOUR ENEMY in this house, however painful, so back off), and I heard major dad howl from the couch during the DANGER DANGER DANGER segment on the incoming national boiling. Apparently, in an effort to bring home just how hot and dangerous and unprecedented these temps would be, they decided to put the "Feels Like" (stupid speak for "Heat Index") temps up when talking about what the thermometer in any given city was going to read.

That was kind of underhanded in our opinion. Because the 107° in the box they flashed on the screen had nothing to do with the actual "temperature" outside. And unless you squinted to see their tiny white-lettered "Feels Like" in the same box, you'd think the Gates of Hell had indeed opened in your neck of the woods.

As you were meant to.

Once you strip out the heat index gobble-dee-gook it turns out that, well, it's been this hot before. 

Now, here's where people get tripped up and the climate cultists pounce. Yeah, there's a good chance many of us have not experienced it, but that doesn't mean it never happened ever, ever.

You just might not have been alive when the records were set or too young to remember. Try doing some research.

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I've got a couple more records for selected boiling cities, which, when these records were set, were nowhere near the massive, sprawling, concrete-covered, heat-trapping urban islands they are now, so keep that in mind. The first number is the unprecedented predicted high for the day and the record follows.

Chicago, Illinois: 

• Tue 6/18: 93° / record: 98° (1954) 

• Wed 6/19: 95° / record: 102° (1953) 

• Thu 6/20: 89° / record: 104° (1988) 

• Fri 6/21: 92° / record: 101° (1988) 

• Sat 6/22: 96° / record: 97° (1988) 

• Sun 6/23: 86° / record: 97° (1930) 

• Mon 6/24: 85° / record: 97° (1937 and 1953) 

New York City, NY 

• Tue 6/18: 89° / record: 95° (1929) 

• Wed 6/19: 91° / record: 98° (1994) 

• Thu 6/20: 94° / record: 98° (1923) 

• Fri 6/21: 94° / record: 97° (1953 and 1988) 

• Sat 6/22: 88° / record: 98° (1988) 

• Sun 6/23: 89° / record: 96° (1888) 

• Mon 6/24: 87° / record: 96° (1888)

No one's denying it's hot, but it's not "step outside and spontaneously combust" hot. And some of the "record-smashing" predicted temps are 10° off records set almost 100 years ago. Ack. Can you imagine what that felt like then?

HOLY SMOKING NEW YORK TENEMENT

And by the way - happy cooling to those of you with whacko cultists in charge of your grid.

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Anyhow, now that we've laid that to rest until next week, I'd like to leave you with a great little video. His name is Chris Martz and I use his tweets from time to time. He's a meteorology major, but man, does the kid love his numbers. He does a terrific job here blowing up the BS with data, and it's an excellent quick primer.

I wish it was the weekend because it IS warm, awfully windy, and an ice-cold Aperol spritz sounds about perfect right now.

What the heck - I'm doin' it.

Slàinte Mhath!


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