Now He's Done It - New Guinea Natives Pretty Mad at the King of Cooked Up Cannibal Crap

AP Photo/Matt Rourke

Jeez Louise.

*sigh*

You just knew this was going to happen. 

Is there anyone anywhere in the entire world that Joe Biden hasn't managed to piss off, annoy, insult, or skeeve out?

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Now it's the folks who live in New Guinea after POTATUS regaled the four lost souls comprising two adoring audiences with another of his famous fabulisms.

This one wasn't a personal yarn, for once. It was the tale of his Uncle Ambrose "Bosie" Finnegan - a true-life WWII Army Air Corps 2nd Lieutenant. Who, like so many other of those jaunty, wonderful, patriotic young heroes, lost his life when his crippled plane ditched in the Pacific off the coast of New Guinea.

One crew member was rescued by a passing barge, but two others died in the accident with Biden's uncle. Their remains were never recovered. 

Like so many others, they never came home to their families.

Never one to let sleeping heroes lie, Biden visited a memorial wall in Scranton, touched Uncle Bosie's name engraved upon it, and then proceeded to regal the gathered reporters and attendees with the fascinating reason why Bosie hadn't come home.

Cannibals, you see.

That isn't to say cannibals aren't coming into mainstream acceptance. When rumors surfaced (NTM video and photos) that cannibals were running amok during the recent Haitian unpleasantness, progressives were quick to point out that cannibals generally get a bad rap. We should be more understanding of the diverse cultural influences around us.

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The cannibal frenzy was whipped up so wildly that Politifact took the time to officially absolve the Clintons of eating lunch (no word if it was thighs or legs) with notorious alleged Haitian cannibal "Barbeque."

As the official record has nothing about cannibals in it, not to mention that the mishap's lone survivor said nothing about being attacked by cannibals - and surely he would have mentioned them - the White House had a bit of cleaning up to do in the press room after story time was over in Scranton.

In a kind of funny-in-the-macabre-sense way, this is emblematic of the entire cartoon Biden presidency - cannibals.

In the not-so-funny-sense, there are some folks on the other side of the world who want you to know that cannibals in Papua, New Guinea have just been viciously defamed by none other than the President of the United States.

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Excuse me - cannibals were discriminating consumers, hello.

'They wouldn't just eat any white men that fell from the sky'

Their current descendants are none too pleased at being fingered for Uncle Bosie's lack of corporeal remains, and they want Biden to stuff a sock in it.

Outraged Papua New Guinea academics have slammed President Joe Biden for his 'unacceptable' suggestion that his uncle was eaten by cannibals in the country after his plane was shot down during World War II.

Biden implied on two occasions Wednesday that his maternal uncle 2nd Lieutenant Ambrose J. Finnegan had met a grisly end at the hands of cannibals after his plane was shot down by the enemy over New Guinea in 1944. 

...Historically, cannibalism has been reported Papua New Guinea, the Pacific nation that occupies the eastern half of the island of New Guinea, but local academics say Biden's categorization of the act is 'very offensive'.

Classicly, POTATUS stepped in cannibal poop right as the US is trying a new approach in order to strengthen ties with New Guinea. We need all the help and all the friends in the Pacific we can get to counter the China menace and all that.

...Other analysts branded Biden's claims as 'unsubstantiated and poorly judged', especially during a time in which the US has been trying to strengthen its ties with Papua New Guinea. 

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Making friends and influencing no one. That's our Big Guy.

...Kabuni argued that the Melanesian people, which includes the those from Papua New Guinea, are 'very proud' and would be offended by Biden's generalization of cannibalism.

...'But taking it out of context, and implying that your [uncle] jumps out of the plane and somehow we think it's a good meal is unacceptable,' he added.

No, whatever the Biden family lore, it's probably not good form or socially acceptable as president to wax nostalgic over lost relatives eaten by cannibals, whether they were or not.

But it's what we've got.

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John Stossel 12:00 AM | May 03, 2024
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