Ah, well. Sadly today, I have yet another entry for the "Whoda Thunk It" progressive policy file. Another brilliant progressive idea and another spectacular flop.

I know it's an inordinately difficult thing for a progressive to swallow, but the truth is that not all occupations were meant to be "living wage" gigs, no matter how many times you click the heels on your ruby slippers and chant the mantra. 

I'm sorry, but there it is.

Every dang time these liberal city and county boards get to messing with a system that's working pretty well for most participants - providing a flexible schedule and decent wages - in many cases, a living wage based on how hard they want to work and the economy, progressives seem driven to tinker with "good enough" success.

Witness what's happening to California pizza delivery drivers in the face of a law that hasn't even taken effect yet. I wrote about a state law that will boost delivery drivers' per-hour pay to $20 in April of this year for pizza businesses that have nationwide operations. Affected businesses have responded preemptively by boosting their drivers out the door to the "learn-to-code" line.

... Some of the franchisees soon to be affected by this looming wage burden have come up with a way to “keep up” and have issued a preemptive strike warning – as required by CA state labor regulations.

Pizza Hut franchise owners around the state are dropping their delivery drivers. Come this spring, if you want your slice, you either get in the car, or pay for a delivery service like Uber Eats.

Hey, thanks, y'all!

The lunatic lefties on the Seattle City Council have never been ones to look around and learn before leaping. They recently took a similar step but regarding food delivery app drivers. It's all for the common good, right? Equitable, right?

Seattle City Council passed legislation that goes into effect Saturday. It will require delivery apps to provide a minimum payment for mileage and time worked. The ordinance will apply to all app-based workers who work at a network company that hires more than 250 workers worldwide.

In a response to the council decision, an Uber spokesperson says, "unfortunately, this one more than doubles the fees consumers will have to pay which means fewer orders for businesses, and less opportunities for delivery workers."

DoorDash said in a statement, “Unfortunately, we expect this will lead to lost revenue for local businesses and fewer earning opportunities for the very workers the regulations are supposed to help.”

DoorDash said dashers in Seattle will earn at least $26.40 an hour before tips plus mileage. The company said that in the coming days people in Seattle ordering from DoorDash will see new fees at checkout to cover the cost of the new regulations and said to balance the impact its reducing the suggested tip amount on each order.

WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Exactly what you thought could go wrong did go wrong because you are a rational human being and could see it coming a mile away.

Plus, you all can do #mathz.

Seattle introduced a mandatory $5 fee on delivery apps to cover their driver’s living wage and sales were almost cut in half. Now the drivers can’t make rent. pic.twitter.com/gOZmX1vvwX

— Chef Andrew Gruel (@ChefGruel) February 5, 2024

Customers went away. Orders went away.

WHODA THUNK IT?

And they all left in less than three weeks' time.

...You may have noticed that new $5 fee on Doordash and Uber Eats orders, but it is not just causing frustrated customers to delete their apps, as we reported. We are now learning the people the ordinance was designed to help are hurting.

What used to be considered "hotspots" for workers on those apps, feel a little colder since Jan. 13, according to several drivers we heard from. That includes Gary Lardizabal, a longtime, app-based, food delivery driver in Seattle.

"Sundays before the ordinance," Lardizabal. "You know, we'd be thinking breakfast. Today, I didn't even touch it. They're not going to order. It is definitely backfiring.”

 ...Even on typically busy delivery days, groups of drivers can be seen waiting around together in groups in high-density restaurant areas.

"Instead of it stopping at 2:30 or 3:00, it's stopping at like one o'clock, sometimes even a little bit before," Shagen said. "So literally at like one o'clock, suddenly, there are no orders anymore."

..."They’re not telling the whole story," Shagen said. "Assuming that you are working constantly, then yes, you're going to be making that much money. But that's not what's happening right now. Because people are not ordering as much anymore. The tips are going down because they think we're making all this money."

One driver shared how much he made on this week last year: $931. But this week, he only made $464.81.

The girl in the interview below went to order Thai food for delivery on her app after this went into effect...right up to where her three meal items totaled $122 with all the additional fees and charges.

I wonder if she just made herself a sammich once she got over the shock?

It will be interesting to see how the Seattle Council responds to this. There should be a bet that they'll double down and tell take-out types it's their duty to order delivery to support "fair wages" for the working class. The council will conveniently be completely overlooking the fact that it's also working-class stiffs ordering that meal who are now expected to pay what essentially amounts to the price of a second meal in fees, thanks to the Seattle City Council.

...I checked my Uber Eats app on Friday to see how much more customers will now pay.

In September I was charged $44.90 for a gyro delivery, and an additional $8.47 in service and delivery fees, before tip and tax.

The same order today is also $44.90 for the food — which, by the way, is about 20% more than what the restaurant charges in-store — but now has $18.27 in fees. That’s more than double from September.

Nope. I don't see it happening.

A lot of people are going to learn to cook.