There’s a pretty inadvertently hilarious commercial on the telly that pops up during the cheaper newscasts and off-peak times. It’s for another of those “collectible” coins that’s been washed in whatever karat gold finish, and is “legal tender” from some island chain in the Pacific. What cracks me up about it is the line at the end, earnestly urging the listener not to miss this extraordinary opportunity for investment:

“…Order NOW to avoid disappointment and future regret.”

I just die every time.

And it comes to mind, like, when there’s a piece of cake left or lonely slice of uneaten bacon – do I wait ’til later like an adult? Or NOW, going for immediate gratification and thereby avoiding disappointment and future regret?

“Now” always wins – nom nom nom – even though “future regret” in my “once on the lips, forever on the hips” existence is a given.

Trust me – I’m going somewhere with this.

That funny little phrase was the first thing that popped into my head last night, again, watching the 6-8 pm CST Fox shows. As you can imagine, hosts and guests alike were weighing in on the breaking news about the Trump dump from Maine’s primary ballot – that took center stage. But they’d also been having some really good discussions on Nikki Haley’s inexplicable face-plant over a simple question that even a third grader used to be able to answer.

How the hell could she be so stupidly dense?

Even worse, the general consensus held – what was she hoping to accomplish by blaming “a Democrat plant” for her moronic answer – that was no ‘gotcha’ question there. More importantly, why was she continuing to flail about so badly in the aftermath?

It’s been incredibly cringey – so slide-under-the-table humiliating – watching the desperation with which she futilely tries clawing her way out of her self-created Pit of Despair. One just wants to scream, “STOP ALREADY” at the top of your lungs.

Where my favorite little saying cropped up was when the hosts played another clip of Haley’s flying hands and lips at a New Hampshire stop yesterday. The presidential candidate was grilled, yet again, on her lousy response to ‘the plant’s’ question and her complete incoherency since. Standing next to Haley was the state’s governor, Chris Sununu.

He’d just done this a few days before.

Well. That’s nice. Perhaps he should have waited.

Because yesterday Haley, after effectively demonstrating she’s not real quick on the draw, proved she’s not much of a defensive player either with this frantic word salad from Hell.

Nikki Haley was pressed by reporters, after her first campaign stop in New Hampshire, on why she failed to mention slavery as a cause of the civil war during Wednesday’s town hall.

“Yes, of course, slavery can never happen again, but going forward, doesn't that mean we should… pic.twitter.com/ope0pwwdph

— Nidia (@NidiaCavazosTV) December 28, 2023

And BOOM.

3 words out of Haley’s mouth, and all I saw were Sununu’s expressions. I could only hear “DISAPPOINTMENT AND FUTURE REGRET” in my head.

And could not take my eyes off of his face the entire time.

The expressions on Chris Sununu’s face speak volumes as Nikki Haley refuses to own up to her mistake and waffles on about nothing. This is the look of regret, the regret of a man who now realizes he backed the wrong horse. pic.twitter.com/igG5gFaWmC

— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) December 28, 2023

Oh, man. Painful. When he didn’t have the Antony Blinken hostage eyes on, he was trying to laser beam the top of her skull off to force a shutdown.

"JUST SH**T ME NOW"

He also spent a few desperate seconds trying to fry the top of her head off with laser-death eyes.

It did not work.

We have seen such despair, regret, and the realization of self-inflicted trapped horror before.

You hate to see it. https://t.co/jOPf9mvzpX pic.twitter.com/6oUUS1QF7y

— tree hugging s*ster 🎃 (@WelbornBeege) December 29, 2023

And the hits just keep on coming for Miss Word Salad Bar.

Civil War Gaffe Undercuts Nikki Haley’s 2024 Pitch
GOP presidential candidate tries to get back on track as rivals question her readiness, honesty

Republican Nikki Haley, who until this week had run a disciplined and largely error-free presidential campaign, has been forced into an uncomfortable and unexpected new chore: doing cleanup on a blunder related to the Civil War and slavery.

The former South Carolina governor and United Nations ambassador was forced into defensive mode after she omitted slavery from an answer she gave at a New Hampshire campaign event where she was asked what prompted the Civil War. Her long-winded response avoided giving the answer to a basic question most learned in grade school, teeing up a barrage of criticism from political foes.

…The test now for Haley is whether she can get her message back on track, with just weeks to go until the first Republican nominating contests. Her initial remarks, which drew wide play on cable news and social media, were potentially damaging because they called into question several elements central to her claim that she is the most capable and electable challenger to former President Donald Trump. It could also make moderate voters question supporting her if she is seen as unprincipled.

Haley quickly tried to set her position straight on Thursday, saying, “I’m from the South. Of course you know it’s about slavery,” on a local radio show.

WOOF

Of course, we know. YOU didn’t.

🎶 “Hello darkness my old friend” 🎶 needs to be overlaid on that one

— Amygator 🐊 *not an actual alligator (@AmyA1A) December 29, 2023

Remember poor Beto O’ Rourke’s Labrador on the Vanity Fair cover?

Beto, one folksy magazine cover does not make you Bruce Springsteen. See how your dog is looking at you? That is your truth. pic.twitter.com/gqj2mn82BW

— roxy🌹 (@roxygsavage) March 14, 2019

Sununu eyes.

Blinken eyes.

“Disappointment and future regret” eyes.

You hate to see it.

[INSERT: smiley face]