I thought I would lighten the mood somewhat by a quick post on a situation I found this morning that was well nigh hilarious.

You know how “climate activists” have been running amok lately – glomming up Van Goghs and Warhols, buildings and traffic?

Okay. Perhaps not so much mucking up traffic, especially in Italy…

This is how the Italians deal with climate change activists blocking the roads. Admirable. Be more like them. pic.twitter.com/B9nsSAh5Vr

— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) June 17, 2022

…but art has been taking a beating at the hands of these loons, even in Italy.

When they’re not flinging things like tomato soup or flour, they tend to like to glue themselves to, near, or in whatever is the most obnoxious spot possible closest to the object of their protest. The loathsome creatures attempt to despoil priceless treasures while soulfully intoning their utterly childish, nonsensical argle-bargle. As in WHUT.

“We’re here glued to this painting, this beautiful painting because we’re terrified for our future…”

Sometimes, however, the best-laid gluing plans go badly, or nicht sehr gut as the Germans would say. German climate activists, that is.

In October, a group of Scientists™ glued themselves to the floor of the Porsche Pavilion at the main VW factory in Wolfsburg, Germany. It wasn’t long before the glue – with a helpful assist from unhelpful and unsympathetic VW employees – won.

Climate protestors in Germany glued themselves to a Volkswagen (VW) factory floor before telling the police that their hands hurt.

Part of the climate group ‘Scientist Rebellion,’ nine campaigners glued themselves to the floor next to VW’s factory in Wolfsburg – at the Porsche pavilion.

The protest aimed to make the German carmaker tell the government to decarbonise the transport industry.

However, after their stunt, they began to complain about pain, a lack of food and a means of using the toilet.

One of the campaigners then reportedly began to complain that his hand – which he’d superglued to the floor – was hurting and could be at risk of blood clots.

I am happy to report that, in Germany yet again, another pair of would-be climate disrupters have been foiled by the very weapon they chose.

The scene is Hamburg’s Elbphilharmonie concert hall, for an evening listening to Beethoven’s Violin Concerto. The orchestra members have all taken their places on the stage and are only awaiting the arrival of the conductor to…WAIT!

Was ist das?!

Two climate activists have climbed from the audience onto the stage and glued themselves to the railing at the conductor’s podium. The pair are beginning their impassioned ranting…

…“Just as there is only one violin concerto by Beethoven, we have only this one planet whose boundaries we disregard so much that climate-related disasters are becoming more frequent and deadly.”

…when their glued hands, a removable safety railing and janitors spoil the protest, much to the absolute delight of the large theater audience.

Freie Sachsen, [25 Nov 2022 um 15:07]
Im Video: Hier fliegen Deutschlands peinlichste Klima-Kleber aus der Elbphilarmonie!
😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/fpFM9c1WKb

— Ingrid Stangl (@IngridStangl1) November 25, 2022

Exit stage right to a chorus of boos, and then a big burst of appreciative applause for the cool as a cucumber, just-taking-out-the-trash maintenance guys. Well done, you!

The climate warriors look just about as one would suppose they would, with a healthy side of “Ach du heilige Scheiße/they just gonna leave us here?” plastered on their bewildered faces.

It’s great.

It brings back fond memories of 2005, when London International Petroleum Exchange (IPE) traders fought off an onslaught of 35 Greenpeace protestors storming their building, who were hoping to paralyze oil trading. Their fierce defense of the Exchange gave rise to a hallowed battle cry for all those sick of this nonsense.

…What they [Greenpeace] were not prepared for was the post-prandial aggression of oil traders who kicked and punched them back on to the pavement.

“We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,” one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. “I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.”

Another said: “I took on a Texan Swat team at Esso last year and they were angels compared with this lot.”

Behind him, on the balcony of the pub opposite the IPE, a bleary-eyed trader, pint in hand, yelled: “Sod off, Swampy.”

We are happy to raise a SOD OFF, SWAMPY! cheer in solidarity with the clean-up crew. May there be many more who don’t hesitate to move the trash out of the way.