We’re not going to get into who pretty much sat on his tiny tweeting hands in the White House during the Mostly Peaceful™ uprisings in the Summer of Arson four years ago.
Nor are we going to expend much energy noting the party affiliations of governors where smash-and-grab retail theft has replaced stickball and skateboarding as the urban pastime of choice.
And we’re certainly not going to get bogged down dwelling on the political hues of the elected leaders of metro areas where porch piracy is the most rampant.
Because if you know, you know. And we know.
Instead, our attention in these few moments we have together focuses on That Man again, the governor of the Free State of Florida, who Tuesday morning — Valentine’s Day Eve, it bears noting, not only to be precise, but also to establish the predicate for our poetic waxing — declared his undying adoration for retailers within his jurisdiction attempting to earn an honest living.
One presumes Magadonia won’t like it, because it turns out its residents didn’t really mean it when they said Florida’s governor should get back to his day job, but instead meant he should either use his gubernatorial clout to blubber praise for the one and only Donald Trump — praise be his combover — or shut himself in the Governor’s Mansion and hush up.
Instead, Ron DeSantis, he of the suspended presidential campaign, has resumed full-time governing in ways that — shrewdly, perhaps — routinely contrast his leadership style with the presumptive Republican nominee and those across the aisle who might presume to step in if Dr. Jill at last decides Shufflin’ Joe Biden can’t go the distance.
Speaking at the Cape Coral Police Office on Florida’s southwest coast Tuesday, DeSantis declared his support for legislation designed to make life far more unpleasant for convicted shoplifters and those who swipe packages from outside homes.
Citing the gargantuan loss suffered by retailers nationally in 2022 — $112 billion — the governor rejected gentle-on-crime experiments in places such as California, New York, and Washington D.C., which, he proclaimed, cultivate a “culture of lawlessness.”
"We believe in being a law and order state," DeSantis said. "We've got to make sure that we don't go down the road of some of these other states, and so while we've done a good job, there are always ways that we can do even better.”
In DeSantis’ mind, doing better looks very much like the bill introduced by Naples state Rep. Bob Rommel. HB 549 would make it:
- a third-degree felony for people who join five or more individuals in retail theft;
- A second-degree felony for those who encourage others to join in in retail theft through social media; and
- a first-degree felony for repeat offenders who have been convicted of the same crime within one year. Also, the punishment for criminals who steal delivery packages, from private properties … will be a third-degree felony if the package is between $40-$100 in value.
“If you commit a crime in Florida, you are going to be held accountable,” DeSantis said. “We will not tolerate retail crime, porch pirates and the lawlessness that they allow in California and New York.”
Would-be thieves know that if they commit crimes in Florida, they are going to end up in jail. pic.twitter.com/jqDe7YExmB
— Ron DeSantis (@GovRonDeSantis) February 13, 2024
Instead, said the governor, Florida will continue to pursue penalties that dissuade people from scofflaw behavior for fear of having authorities “drop the hammer on you.”
Contrast that, and the 30 percent plummet in shoplifting since DeSantis took office in 2019, to the anguish of shopkeepers and community leaders in Oakland, Calif., where spikes in all sorts of criminal activity are eviscerating the city.
Robberies grew 38% last year in Oakland, according to police data. Burglaries increased 23%. Motor vehicle theft jumped 44%. Roughly one of every 30 Oakland residents had a car stolen last year, according to a San Francisco Chronicle analysis.
Businesses, even iconic brands (In-N-Out, Denny’s), are shutting down, blaming property damage, theft, and car break-ins. Rather than risk muggings, vehicle thefts and other criminal hazards, Kaiser Permenente recommended staff remain in the hospital for lunch.
“If nothing happens,” said Shari Godinez, executive director of Koreatown Northgate, a liaison for Oakland businesses, “it’ll just start becoming a ghost town.”
Belatedly — business owners have for months been pleading for relief — California Gov. Gavin Newsom announced Tuesday he’d dispatched a surge of 120 state troopers to Oakland and its surrounds.
Oakland crime stats for 2023
— skepticalifornia (@skepticaliblog) February 11, 2024
📈 Violent crime increased by 21%
📈 Robberies climbed 38%
📈 Motor vehicle theft jumped 45%
Newsom announced plans to send state prosecutors to Oakland, in addition to CHP officershttps://t.co/ybANibtHsj
People will do what people do, especially when they know the potential rewards of misbehavior are disproportionate to the probable consequences (cashless bail, misdemeanor fines, no-jail sentencing). Florida won’t be incentivizing bad actors anytime soon.
You wonder — don’t you just? — what it would be like to have someone of similar thinking planted in the Oval Office the next time mostly peaceful demonstrators attack federal buildings and law enforcement officers.
