“If no action is taken after 24 hours, we will cancel the service.”
Womp, womp.
That could have gone better.
Legacy.
That’s embarrassing.
Incuriosity.
How many successfully enrolled?
Fixed.
“Have you tried logging out and waiting the 30 minutes and then retrying?”
Success?
Fix.
Success.
Chaos.
Regrets.
Ignorance.
Uptick?
Data.
Don’t hold your breath.
Fail.
Betrayal.
Endgame.
Crisis.
“Jon, I get it!”
Change.
Changing the subject.
Glitches.
Uh oh.
404.
Competence.
Spiral.
Quagmire.
Catastrophe.
Hide the decline.
“We’re going to be pursuing this with a lot of vigor. This issue is not going away.”
“These are not glitches. The extent of the problems is pretty enormous.”
“Is this just the tip of the iceberg?”
“I guess I should click the ???FFE.EE.MYACCUNT.LOG button because it is green”
Trending
“Privately, one C.D.C. official said the prospect of the new variant’s prowess was ‘chilling'”
What could go wrong?
“Acts of vandalism to my home, in the veil of darkness, will not allow me to actively and compassionately listen to you.”