I know, I know. I shouldn’t reward her. But much like the time the woman who ate an entire marijuana candy bar without checking what the serving size might be lectured us all on smart drug policy, everyone’s going to be talking about this.
You didn’t think she could get more awkward than tripping in a Denver hotel room? Well, take a gander at this opening. Watch her execute the most graceless, tacky, incoherent segue in recent memory:
WASHINGTON — I talked to Robin Williams once, about breasts.
In 1993, when he played a prim British nanny in “Mrs. Doubtfire,” I went to interview him at his Pacific Heights house.
“It’s great to be this blue-mouthed old lady hitting on somebody,” he said, in his character’s soft Scottish burr, “opening your blouse and saying, ‘What about these? Behold my dirty pillows, my fun bags. Come nurse at the fountain of bliss.’ ”
He was 42 then, wearing his Popeye outfit, a blue-striped T-shirt and black baggy jeans. Surrounded by kids, a rabbit and an iguana, we talked about everything from John Belushi to his father, a stern Ford Motor Company executive.
As our interview ended, I was telling him about my friend Michael Kelly’s idea for a 1-900 number, not one to call Asian beauties or Swedish babes, but where you’d have an amorous chat with a repressed Irish woman. Williams delightedly riffed on the caricature, playing the role of an older Irish woman answering the sex line in a brusque brogue, ordering a horny caller to go to the devil with his impure thoughts and disgusting desire.
I couldn’t wait to play the tape for Kelly, who doubled over in laughter.
So when I think of Williams, I think of Kelly. And when I think of Kelly, I think of Hillary, because Michael was the first American reporter to die in the Iraq invasion, and Hillary Clinton was one of the 29 Democratic senators who voted to authorize that baloney war.
This red-headed superheroine was on her way to rescue the world from neocon warmongers, but she just had to stop and drop some names first. The rest of the column is a thorough bashing of Hillary Clinton, not just for backing the Iraq War, but for being insufficiently loyal to her male boss— you know, the one who called her “likeable enough”— which seems an odd thing for the author of “Are Men Necessary?” to object to.
Stay for the pre-2016 blue-on-blue action but there’s nothing to lure you in like this zanily nonsensical opening.
And, congrats to our friends at the Free Beacon for this. “Trolling upwards,” I think someone called it, but after reading that transition, that’s far too generous to Dowd:
Maybe the New York Times is too embarrassed to edit Maureen Dowd anymore. Only for connoisseurs of the truly awful. http://t.co/8mAu5gExWw
— Jay Rosen (@jayrosen_nyu) August 13, 2014
This Maureen Dowd column is basically just free association: http://t.co/5bz3s9SfTW
— Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) August 13, 2014