Video: Tim Howard offers beautiful but ultimately futile metaphor for American dominance

Is the nickname Nuclear Umbrella taken? American goalkeeper Tim Howard, 35, made a World Cup record 16 saves Tuesday in the U.S. team’s unlikely quarterfinals Round of 16 appearance against Belgium. But two goals for the land of many languages and breakfast beers was enough to end the American run. I listened to the “Freakonomics” podcast last week on why America does not embrace soccer and dominate the sport. One of the revelations was the U.S. has never produced a truly elite, top-flight player, unless you count goalkeepers. It makes sense. We’re America. We’re a country full of big, athletic people who are good with their hands. (Now, if only there were a sport that allowed 11 hulking Tim Howards on the field at one time. Hmm.)

“The levee is going to break at some point,” Howard said after the game. “We dreamed and we fell short of our dream.”

Really, a remarkable performance, whether you like soccer or not. Thanks, Tim!

Some called for him to take over the southern border of the U.S. Some called him the best goalkeeper in the world.

And, some went even further:

Twitchy rounds up perfectly American responses to today’s loss.

I’m being tongue-in-cheek in my headline. I don’t think he is. Performing the pro-soccer version of the Ann Coulter anti-soccer trolling column, here is Chris Hayes: