Thank God, celebrities have chimed in on the 'Harambe the Gorilla' story


No major story in America is complete without checking in with “celebrities” to get their opinion. And boy are we lucky because over the past several days, multiple humans of note used their social media platform of choice to chime in on the “Harambe the Gorilla” controversy.

If you’ve been sitting at home wondering what former stand-up comedians and CNN hosts were thinking about the tragic story of the gorilla that was put down after a child climbed into his habitat in Ohio, your wait is over.

Let the mocking begin:

Thank God one of the “stars” of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has chimed in with her expertise in primate behaviors. She’s sure the “poor gorilla” did “nothing wrong.” Uh huh. Clearly Vanderpump knows much better than the Cincinnati Zoo and the experts who observed the situation and determined the “child’s life was in danger.” Clearly they should have checked with the former Dancing with the Stars contestant.

Hughley actually raises a fair point here. There needs to be some kind of investigation

John Fugelsang is a former VH1 VeeJay who is now a political commentator for cable news. The last time anyone cared about what this guy had to say, he was claiming conservatives would be nailing Jesus to the cross again:

So yeah, his lack of moral thought in calling for the death of a parent over a wild animal makes a little more sense now, doesn’t it?

Piers Morgan is a former political commentator for cable news and for all we know, he’s now a VH1 VeeJay. Apparently, he thinks the solution to the Harambe story is some sort of bullet-proof Biodome. It should also be noted that a firearm ended up saving the child, something Morgan has a clear, fundamental problem with.

Joseph Kahn is a relatively unknown film director, but he has a blue check mark next to his Twitter account so attention must be paid. He is responsible for the 2011 horror/comedy (was it supposed to be a comedy?) Detention which currently has a 38% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. One could argue that Joseph Kahn getting a gig directing Death of a Salesman at a dinner theatre in Jefferson, MO would be an appropriate form of Darwinism for his career, but we certainly won’t sink to those depths.

Which brings us to Ricky Gervais:

Ah yes. Ricky Gervais. An avowed atheist whose main goal in life seems to be to insult people of faith in such a profound way that he hopes to shame them into abandoning their beliefs. In a way, he’s an atheist evangelist. It isn’t enough for him that he has no profound belief system rooted in ethical monotheism, no, he won’t rest until you follow him into the abyss of non-belief.

So, given that background, it’s no surprise he makes the morally bankrupt comparison between a gorilla as a “parent” and a human being. Gervais is not familiar with Genesis 1:26.

In fact, the idea that man, created in God’s image, shall have dominion over the other animals, appears to be the missing moral idea that links all these rants together. And what does that tell us about the ranters?


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