Move over, Impossible Burger. Here comes the Impossible Fish

I thought we had seen it all in the ongoing war by the vegan socialists to force the rest of the nation to subsist on a diet of twigs and leaves, but it turns out they’re only getting started. Impossible Foods had already gotten Burger King to sign on for a nationwide rollout of their Frankenstein chemistry lab “hamburgers” this month, but they’re not going to be satisfied with just getting rid of all the dairy cows. Now they want to knock out the seafood industry as well. Yes, sports fans, the vegan overlords are now working on an even more fiendish concoction in their genetically modified vats of goo. They’re going to reproduce fish and other seafood built from GMO “heme” and try to trick you into eating it. (CNBC)

The arms race for plant-based protein is heating up, and this time the oceans are under attack.

Impossible Foods, which is headed into grocery stores with its meat patty after getting FDA approval for the key ingredient heme earlier this week, recently announced it is working on a plant-based fish recipe as part of the company’s mission to create replacements for all animal-based foods by 2035. The fish product will also use heme, the molecule responsible for making Impossible Burgers “bleed,” to recreate the fish flavor without using an ounce of animal product.

With the average American consumer eating over 14 pounds of fish and shellfish every year, the fish and seafood market might become the next industry to be turned on its head by the alternative meat craze.

At first glance, this sounds like an impossible task. Beef is the most popular and generally homogeneous animal-based meat, so it was an easy target. But fish and other seafood? The subtle differences between bass, trout, tuna and the rest of the family of fish meals can’t possibly be faked, can it? And then you’ve got the crabs, the lobsters and my personal favorite, the clams.

How are you going to fake a clam? A big part of the experience of eating clams involves the shell, whether you steam them, broil them or serve them raw on the half shell. What will they build the shell out of? Pineapple skins? And there’s no conceivable way they could build a lobster or a crab out of plant-based enzymes, except possibly if it’s just the meat from the inside.

But I’m not putting anything past these mad scientists of the 21st century at this point. I didn’t think they could fool anyone with their “beef” originally, but at this point, their biggest problem turns out to be supply chain management to meet all of the demand. As for the fake fish, they will once again be using their “heme” to recreate both the taste and texture of the various fish, assuming they can pull it off.

It’s time to fight back, folks. Remember those old Charlie the Tuna advertisements where Charlie seemed to be promoting genocide for his own race? Perhaps it’s time to set up a crowdfunding effort to start educating people about this. If Charlie was willing to die for the cause, he should be willing to fight this new genetically engineered obscenity. Here’s a brief walk down memory lane for those of you too young to recall what I’m talking about.