What is wrong with you people? Meatless "Impossible Burgers" are selling out

Apparently, not very many of you took heed of my many (and I mean many) warnings about these plant-based, genetically engineered, non-meat “burgers” taking over the country. Yes, it’s gotten to the point where people are pawning off real meat as “impossible” burgers. The battle for the soul of America is all but lost, and at this point, there’s nothing holding back these laboratory experiments from being in every restaurant in the country except for one thing. The manufacturers can’t make them fast enough to meet demand.

Impossible Foods — known for its meatless cell-based burgers now available at some 9,000 restaurants nationwide — says it’s struggling a bit to keep up with the voracious demand for its product.

“Yes, we are struggling to keep up with scorching demand for the Impossible Burger. The issue is not unique to any single region or chain; we are not prioritizing anyone, so the outages could in principle affect any of the 9,000 restaurants where the Impossible Burger is on menu,” a company spokeswoman tells Yahoo Finance.

The comments follow a Bloomberg report Friday suggesting Impossible Foods’ burgers are out of stock in many Red Robin and White Castle locations. The story also calls out Beyond Meat (BYND) burgers being unavailable at 70 Freebirds locations.

Impossible Foods (the company making this monstrosity) is taking a variety of steps to keep up with escalating demand. They’ve brought in experts in rapid expansion and are working with vendors in their supply chain to anticipate and, where possible, avoid shortages. They’ve hired a bunch of new workers to take care of production and shipping. Yes, these horrifying “burgers” will soon be rolling out like the latest version of robots in that Tom Cruise movie. And likely to the same long-term effect.

This is how they get you, people. This is how it all starts. They keep yammering on until they convince you that cow farts are destroying the planet and cows are just plain bad. Then they wave their science experiment under your nose and say, “Oh, look! Doesn’t it look juicy? Doesn’t it look just like a burger?” And then you start thinking, hey… why not? I could try a bite. One little bite won’t hurt.

But while you’re doing that, somebody is showing up at the farms with lots of trucks and they’re hauling all the cows away to sell to the heathens! Before you know it, you’ll realize that these genetically modified puddles of soy root enzymes really aren’t your cup of tea and you start thinking, maybe I’ll just go pick up some real burgers. But by then it’s too late. The vegans and the environmentalists have won and there aren’t any more cows. No cows means no beef.

I’d hoped that I wouldn’t live long enough to see the final gutting of civilization, but it’s coming up on us fast. And you have nobody to blame but yourselves.