Oh, great. Now Boston Dynamics' killer robot dogs can tow your car

It’s time to check back in with our friends and eventual destroyers of humanity at Boston Dynamics. There’s big news breaking at the company this week because their “Spot Mini” robotic dogs are not only fully operational but are going on the market. (Price not specified yet.) But before they head out the door, they’ve taught the artificial intelligence-capable killer mechanical dogs a new trick. They can apparently form up into teams of ten – eight of them without heads as if they weren’t creepy enough already – and tow a sizable truck up a shallow grade. (The Verge)

Boston Dynamics has shown its SpotMini robot doing a new trick: joining a robot army to pull a large vehicle that’s in neutral gear. Ten of them can work together to get the job done. This is building off of the small, four-legged robot’s repertoire of skills that includes picking up objects, opening doors, climbing stairs, and having eerily lifelike movement.

Today’s big news is that SpotMini is off of the production line, and Boston Dynamics says that it will be available “for a range of applications soon.” Pricing info hasn’t been made public, and it doesn’t seem like it will be a consumer product (which is probably for the good of society).

Let’s just get this over with and go to the video of the latest horror show.

So there we have it. The eight headless dogs and the two presumably smarter boss dogs are able to hook themselves together into a sled team. So as soon as the AI wakes up and realizes that humans are an inconvenience, this crew will be able to come by your house and steal your car. That’s just super. Once you have no way to escape using a vehicle they can simply hunt you down on foot because they can run three times as fast as you and leap significant distances.

Do keep in mind that the robot dogs on display above are the Spot Mini version. They’re the small ones. They have a big brother who is just named “Spot.” Here he is cruising around a construction site in Japan. (Because you always test nightmares like this in Japan. That’s how we wound up with Godzilla.)

So far they can’t swim (that we know of). You might want to invest in some property on an island someplace. That way, when the robot revolution begins you’ll be able to squeeze out a few last days of precious life, laughing at the foolishness of all the humans on the mainland. Get your bug-out bag ready and best of luck to you all.