California to bring back net neutrality... but only for California

Now that net neutrality has ended and the internet’s been shut down, hordes of confused peasants roam America’s formerly bustling highways on foot, trudging along as they stare forlornly at their now-useless mobile devices which used to connect them to the rest of the world. Those few of you clever enough to have hooked into the Russian-run dark web and are still able to read the content at Hot Air may have some good news to share with them, however. Net neutrality is coming back, baby!

There’s just one catch. You’ll have to go to California to enjoy it so you’d best loot some comfortable hiking shoes from one of the abandoned Walmarts and hit the road.

California state Sen. Scott Wiener vowed Thursday to introduce a bill that would require net neutrality in California.

Following the Federal Communication Commission’s repeal of net neutrality Thursday, Wiener (D-San Francisco) wrote on a Medium post:

“There are several ways we can bring net neutrality to California. California can regulate business practices to require net neutrality, condition state contracts on adhering to net neutrality, and require net neutrality as part of cable franchise agreements, as a condition to using the public right-of-way for internet infrastructure, and in broadband packages.”

Net neutrality, a principle that Internet service providers should provide equal access to web content, has been fiercely championed by tech entrepreneurs.

Being a states’ rights advocate, I suppose California can do whatever they like, at least up to a point. But has anyone explained to senator Wiener how this whole internet thing works? (It’s like a series of tubes, you see…)

California doesn’t have their own internet. (Which is kind of a shame because if they did, the rest of us could simply filter them out.) So if they’re going to impose state-level regulations on entities which operate on a national and, in most cases, international basis, that means that those providers and associated entities are going to need to set up an entirely separate service structure for users inside that one state. (Well… possibly two states, since Washington is talking about it too.) That’s going to cost extra most likely. And who is going to pay those additional costs for special services? If you said the service providers will just suck it up, buy yourself a ticket to Venezuela where such thinking is all the rage.

Of course, the end users will have to foot the bill. Which means that Californians will wind up paying more for the same service everyone else is receiving because of state-level government regulations. Of course, we’re talking about California here, so that’s just a fact of life already. Perhaps nobody will notice.

Or perhaps they will. Earlier this year the citizens of the Golden State finally rose up on their hind legs and began working to repeal a massive gas tax increase which was put in place to fund even more of California’s endless mandates and schemes. That one jacked up their state gas taxes to nearly fifty cents a gallon. When all of their internet services become similarly more expensive, will they push back again?

Best of luck, Californians. Remember… when the revolution begins, you’ll want to chat with the folks who voted in all those gun control laws too.