Given the amount of time I’ve spent hanging around at and volunteering for animal shelters over the years (and the houseful of critters we’ve always maintained) it’s not surprising that I used to make a habit of encouraging everyone to adopt a shelter dog if they had room in their homes and their hearts. But now, at long last, I’ve found a story that’s making me rethink the concept. Maybe some people really shouldn’t have pets. Particularly if you’re the type to refuse to get vaccinations for your dog because you’re worried it will become autistic. (Death and Taxes)

Two Brooklyn veterinarians have reported an increase in pet owners refusing to get their animals vaccinated because they’re worried their pets might get autism, Brooklyn Paper reports. While the vets’ statements are purely anecdotal, both believe that “hipster-y” residents who follow a more “holistic lifestyle” may be more disposed to buying into anti-vaxx misinformation and rhetoric and be “applying it to their pets.”

“I really don’t know what the reasoning is,” said Dr. Amy Ford of Veterinarian Wellness Center of Boerum Hill. “They just feel that injecting chemicals into their pet is going to cause problems.”

Look… I know this can be a touchy subject for portions of our audience. I get that some of you are concerned over reports you’ve seen which at least hint at a link between the fluids used in some vaccines and incidents of autism in children. I’m really not here today to pass judgement on that subject. The point is, we’re talking about dogs. Your dog isn’t autistic. Your dog isn’t going to become autistic. Even one of the veterinarians they interviewed for the article was able to weigh in on that one pretty quickly.

“We’ve never diagnosed autism in a dog,” Dr. Liff said. “I don’t think you could.”

Honestly, we could almost retire the #HeadDesk hashtag after that one. You people are driving me over the edge. Just get your dog to the vet’s for their regularly scheduled shots and check-up every year or so and you’ll be fine.

This is right up there with the morons who are so socially conscious that they want to put their dogs or cats on a vegan diet. Yes, they are out there. Try talking to some vets about it. Your animals are carnivores. Look at their teeth. It’s true that wolves began to adapt over time and can eat some other stuff, but their base diet is always meat. You’re torturing your pets and they don’t know anything about politics or culture wars. They just don’t understand why they are being punished.

Oh, and you people who insist on dressing your cats up in costumes? Yes, you. The people in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWjtqe4qbW0

Just be aware of this. Fluffy is watching you as you go about your routine every day. She’s tracking your movements. She knows when you’re the most vulnerable.

And some day she’s going to have her revenge.