I think it was last summer when I was down in Tennessee talking to some folks about the VW union negotiations and I was staying in a fairly mid-range hotel in Chattanooga. It was a nice trip except for the fact that when I was back in my room in the evening trying to work there was a non-stop game of screaming tag or something going on in the hallway. Small children were running up and down the hall squealing and yelling, alternately laughing or sobbing or fighting. This went on for a couple of nights despite the fact that I called down to the desk at least twice to complain.

I still remember thinking at the time that I really didn’t blame the kids. They were too young to know any better. But I was ready to take a two by four to the parents if I could have identified them. Does that story sound familiar to you as a parent? Are you one of these “time out mommies” who never disciplines their children, then takes them on trips and allows them to terrorize the other adults everywhere you go because you “don’t want to suppress their free expression” or something? If so, congratulations. You’ve made number one on the list of the worst experiences that travelers have at hotels. (Yahoo News)

Are you guilty of letting your kids run wild in the hotel hallway? If so, know that guests behind closed doors are cursing your parenting skills, as “inattentive parents” topped a newly released hotel etiquette survey that identifies the most annoying types of hotel guests.

In the survey conducted by online travel site Expedia, lazy, inconsiderate parents outranked other aggravating guest behaviors such as “hallway hellraisers” and “complainers,” the nitpicky guests who berate hotel staff for the smallest inconveniences.

The survey also revealed American tipping habits at hotels, showing that more than half (51 percent) of guests tip their housekeepers — the most tipped hotel employee.

The other annoyances on their list frankly don’t come anywhere near the obnoxious habits of bad parents who can’t manage to instill any sort of of discipline in their children. (Well, the people having a party in the room next to yours with loud blaring music are pretty bad too. Go to the bar.) Complaints about “The Loudly Amorous” don’t really make my list. After all… it’s a hotel bedroom and it probably won’t go on for all that long anyway. Other noises tend to be muted if there’s more than two walls between you. Loud drunks at the hotel bar or chatterboxes on the elevator don’t bother me much either. (Rumor has it I may have been guilty of one of those myself.)

No, in the end it’s really just the clueless parents with the screaming, off the leash children. The same goes for other non-hotel situations. If you are going to a restaurant where they have cloth napkins and a wine list, don’t bring your kids unless you’ve figured out how to have them behave like little ladies and gentlemen. If I go to McDonald’s and get annoyed at screaming children, shame on me. Planes have pretty much the same rules. If you can’t manage your children, do us all a favor and stay off of planes unless your kid is on the way to have emergency organ transplant surgery. If it’s a vacation, suck it up and drive. (And don’t tell me you can’t drive to Europe. Your kid doesn’t need to go to Europe.)

There. Now I feel strangely better having had the chance to review that travel article. And if you finish reading this and you’re upset because you recognize your own kids in the description… good. You deserve to be shunned. And tell your kids to stay off my lawn while you’re at it or I’ll sick Fred on them.