Bad news, Canada. America loves you.

Andrew Malcolm brings us some good news on the front of international peace and love, but some bad news for the Great White North. It turns out that of all the many nations in the world, aside from our own, Americans love Canada the best.

A new Gallup Poll finds that it’s become Americans’ most very favorite foreign country both now and in the 20 years Gallup has inquired about such things.

Americans may not have been there and may be abysmally ignorant about a next-door neighbor (or neighbour) that is by far its largest trading partner, best friend and closest ally. (Until the last election Harvard grad Barack Obama thought they had a president up there.)

But Gallup finds that a record 96% of Americans are feeling the love for that northern land of toques that’s 10% larger than the United States with one-tenth the population. U.S. lovers of Canada are up 4% just in the past year.

In fact, liking Canada is almost unanimous in the 57 states. Only 3% of Americans think unfavorably (or unfavourably) of Canada, and they probably don’t even know where it is. (North of everything except Alaska and Detroit.)

But that’s good news, right? I mean, they’re not just our neighbor and largest trading partner, but they are responsible for the other half of one of the longest international land borders in the world. We want to be on good terms, and so should they, right? Not so fast there, back bacon fans.

When Americans start paying attention to anything, even if it’s positive, they tend to unintentionally smother, crush the bushes and walk all over the flower beds, telling you how really glad they are to be there, you know what I mean? It’s as if Randy McQuaid came for the weekend — and stayed a month.

But not everyone is feeling the love for Canada. Hey… don’t get the wrong idea, here. I’m not talking about me. I love Canada. I’ve spent a lot of time there. Amazing fishing and hunting, great food, wonderful people. And you know what else they have a lot of that I like? Oil.

But as I said, not everyone loves Canada. Some people thumb their noses at them, turn down their offers to build pipelines and send their Prime Minister scurrying off with hurt feelings to go make deals with China.

But not me. I don’t blame Canada, even if the kids on South Park do. A short video tribute to close:

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