I first caught wind of this story from our good friend Fausta, and it seems like a suitably silly note to help wrap up an already strange and unusual week. We’ve got a brand spanking new, rootin’ tootin’ study, fresh off the press from a distinguished group of scientists. (And I can tell they were scientists because I checked, and most of them were wearing white lab coats.) In it, we find what we already suspected about the party that hates science, clings to their guns and their God, and disapproves of Barack Obama not because of his damaging policies, but because he’s black. Yep… you guessed it. Turns out that conservatives are stupid. And racist.

There’s no gentle way to put it: People who give in to racism and prejudice may simply be dumb, according to a new study that is bound to stir public controversy.

The research finds that children with low intelligence are more likely to hold prejudiced attitudes as adults. These findings point to a vicious cycle, according to lead researcher Gordon Hodson, a psychologist at Brock University in Ontario. Low-intelligence adults tend to gravitate toward socially conservative ideologies, the study found. Those ideologies, in turn, stress hierarchy and resistance to change, attitudes that can contribute to prejudice, Hodson wrote in an email to LiveScience.

“Prejudice is extremely complex and multifaceted, making it critical that any factors contributing to bias are uncovered and understood,” he said.

But… but… wait a minute here! I thought IQ tests were useless and reflected environmental effects at a far greater level of impact than any inherent capacity to acquire and retain knowledge? I’m almost sure I read that in Gods and Guns Monthly or something. But, as Fausta points out, James Taranto beat me to the punch.

So IQ tests are racist, except when they’re used to “prove” that people with “socially conservative ideologies” are racist and intellectually inferior.

TheRoot.com has an article arguing that the Republican presidential candidates are racist. It’s about as uninteresting an argument as you can find–but the headline is revealing: “Colorblind Racism: The New Norm.” That Orwellian term, “colorblind racism,” is the pithiest summation we’ve ever encountered of the absurdity of contemporary left-liberal racial dogma.

It also turns out to be a product of academia: The idea of “colorblind racism” was hatched by Eduardo Bonilla-Silva, a professor of sociology at Duke University, a decade ago. Here’s a paper on the subject from the journal Critical Sociology.

Taranto goes on to posit that some of these completely unbiased, intellectually curious academic institutions may have something of a vested interest in proving their point. You see, as the economy continues to falter and conservative, austerity leaning measures begin to take hold and spread at both the state and federal levels, the wellspring of cash which fuels the universities begins to dry up as well. And not to cast aspersions on anyone’s intellectual honesty here, but coming up with a result that casts doubt on the people threatening to dry up your grant money might not be the worst outcome in the world.

But don’t take my word for it. Click through and read both the results of the study and Taranto’s rebuttal. (And for you conservatives in the audience, that would be the left button on your mouse. Frankly, I’m amazed you figured out how to turn the computer on in the first place.)