Scandal in the Big Apple - Pizzagate

Finally. An excuse to turn our attention away from the petty scandals engulfing the news cycle for the last week or so. When you have the former frontrunner for the GOP nomination holding a clandestine meeting with the potential future frontrunner for the GOP nomination, and doing so on the home turf of the current frontrunner for the GOP nomination, you know there’s some big political news afoot. And this is precisely what we found when The Donald hosted Sarah Palin for dinner in the city so nice they named it twice. And such an auspicious meeting could only end one way…

Another scandal.

As the New York Daily News reports, the pair of political powerhouses made the mistake of going out for a quick slice, caught on camera for the world to see. Their only comment on the meeting? You’re DOING IT WRONG!

Sarah Palin, New Yorkers have a message for you: You’re doing it wrong!

The Tea Party favorite and fellow GOP media-monger, Donald Trump, committed the cardinal sin of pizza-eating on Tuesday when they shared a pie at Famiglia Pizzeria in Times Square during a stop on her “One Nation” bus tour.

They used forks.

“She doesn’t know any better,” Darrell Carter, 50, an exterminator from the Bronx says. “Only Sarah Palin would eat pizza with a fork in New York.”

Well, not only Palin. The Donald was doing it too. We can forgive the former Governor of Alaska for not being familiar with the protocol, but one would think that Donald would know better.

It’s a scandal which may be unfamiliar to many people except the denizens of two cities which have been at war over this subject since my grandfather’s time – New York and Chicago. As any Empire State resident will tell the misinformed misanthropes of the Windy City, pizza is made with a thin crust, red sauce and a few choice toppings at most. And as they would just as quickly tell Trump, you don’t scrape the toppings off, leaving the crust on your plate (which Donald also did) and you don’t use a knife and fork.

First, you don’t go to Famiglia. It’s a chain store. You’re touring the home of real pizza with some of the most famous eateries in the country. Go to one of them. Next, the proper way to eat a pie is to peel away a slice just after the molten cheese begins to congeal. Then you fold it from the outside edge and…

You know what? Describing this with text doesn’t do it justice. I’ll let Jon Stewart explain it, as he did for Donald Trump, with a video demonstration.

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