Then I remembered something — the superbug. If I didn’t get that as well, the experiment would be pointless. Perhaps the nurses were going to cough on me as I left. ‘It would be unethical to give you a disease,’ I was told. The hope is that I’ll come into contact with COVID in the normal run of things and this exposure will inform the medics’ deductions about my swabs. After receiving the jab, I sat on the bed reading for 20 minutes. Then the nurse checked that I hadn’t died and told me I could leave.

Since then, nothing. No side-effects at all. My vaccine pinprick vanished within hours. I now feel like an expert in the pandemic. I’m not really, of course. All I’ve learned is to mistrust claims that the magic formula will be found by Christmas or Easter or even next summer. My schedule of swabs continues until September 2021. It seems inconceivable that anyone would accept a vaccine whose human trials are ongoing.