They think life is so great outside the Firm? Let them call up Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Those two aren’t royals. How much privacy did they enjoy during their relationship? Being in the crosshairs of the media evidently took its toll on both of them. Pitt lamented on a podcast released earlier this week that, “I’m just, like, trash mag fodder. I don’t know … because of my disaster of a personal life, probably.” He developed a drinking problem that hit crisis level on a plane in 2016, after which Jolie dumped him. It’s not clear whether Pitt has any relationship with his son Maddox, 18, who is now a university student in Korea. When an interviewer asked about his dad visiting him on campus, Maddox said, “I don’t know about that [or] what’s happening.” Asked whether the pair’s relationship is over, he added, “Well, whatever happens, happens.” Being a global celebrity who isn’t in a royal family isn’t automatically easy.

Like all celebrities, H & M think their media coverage is intrusive but in their case they think the coverage is also racist and insufficiently respectful of their self-image, which is cool global ambassadors of woke. They envision puff pieces that portray them as daring new avatars for social justice, and there will be a few of those. But they also envision enjoying total control over their image. That just isn’t going to happen. They say that in the future they will work only with “grassroots media organisations and young, up-and-coming journalists” and “provide access to credible media outlets focused on objective news reporting.” In other words: You’re fired, media. H & M dream of picking and choosing their own outlets, preferably the “grassroots” (read: progressive) ones that will amplify the political virtue-signaling envisioned by the Woke Wallis Simpson (as Brendan O’Neill of Spiked dubbed the former Ms. Markle).