This is why the National Rifle Association, an organization ripe for overhaul given the latest controversies and upheaval, should make their next spokesperson a teenager. Then we can sit back and watch hordes of reporters adjust their outrage meters accordingly. Their new rosy-cheeked spokeskid should take to Twitter and YouTube, dressed in an orange vest and slinging an AR-15 over their shoulder, accompanied with bold declarations about how it’s up to the children to defend our Second Amendment Rights, granted to us by God and the Constitution of the United States, if the adults in Congress will no longer do it. They can correct media-at-large and politicians like Michael Bloomberg about the mechanics of what an AR-15 actually are, as well as citing statistics about the futility of an assault weapons ban when it’s first enacted. I’m sure they will handle critics of this defenseless child with the grace and demeanor they do with attacks on Thunberg.

The NRA can send their new Twitter savvy teen on Meet the Press to tell Chuck Todd, while choking back tears, that not a single universal background check would have stopped the last five mass shootings in America. They can create Instagram Stories and TikToks explaining how gun violence has been on a 30-year down trend and is not an emergency, and all mandatory buybacks proposed by Democrats in Congress are the actual confiscation of constitutional rights.