America is supposed to be a “melting pot,” however one sad thing about the end of the year holidays is most Jews do not understand Christmas, and most Christians don’t get Hanukkah. But they should. After all, both faiths are descended from the patriarch Abraham and believe in the “golden rule.” Each of the religions believes that Jesus was a nice Jewish boy who went into his father’s business. The only difference is what they believe his father’s business was.

Since each of the holidays begins soon, it’s time for me to explain the differences between them to the people of the opposite faith. Therefore below are 18 differences between Christmas and Chanukah. Why 18? Because 18 is a significant number in Judaism. In Hebrew, the number 18 is represented by the letters that spell out Chai—life. Multiples of this number are considered good luck and are often used in gift-giving. Since this post makes fun of both holidays, I will need good luck.