As the saying goes, you had one job, Republicans. Now? Your job really isn’t representing your districts. It’s backfilling and wallpapering over your president’s latest excesses, outrages, racial arson and verbal Twitter dysentery. Every day is a new crisis, and every day demands their complete attention. When he eventually tweets that he was the first person to arrive at Ground Zero or that he invented the question mark that one summer in Yangon, count on his congressional footmen and the Fox News Ministry of Truth to find a new way to spin it.

For Republicans, it’s an endless summer of crying themselves to sleep at Newspeak immersion camp. Yesterday, paper ballots were out. Today, some poor intern is probably mocking one up in crayon.

Trump’s been consistent on one thing, at least: Even as I write this, he’s standing by his claim that he’s “the least racist person in the world.” It’s a position he’s so passionate about, that if you doubt him for even a minute, he’ll invite you to go back to Africa.

Caudillos like Trump have always demanded that cronies tolerate their caprice. It’s degrading and exhausting but undeniably requisite for everyone who has to follow the bouncing ball of pronouncements anchored not to philosophy but to ego and impulse, lest they find themselves excommunicated from the cabal.