Trump and his defenders dissent from this vision of the country — but in the name of what? Definitely not racism. Certainly not. Absolutely not. Trump can’t possibly be a racist — because Mr. Sh-thole Countries himself said so, right there on Twitter on Tuesday afternoon, complete with creepy capitalization and an exclamation point: “I don’t have a Racist bone in my body!” Well that settles it then. In case it doesn’t, you can always try the scholasticism pursued by Brit Hume of Fox News, who helpfully assures us in a tweet of his own that while Trump most certainly isn’t a racist, he may indeed be guilty of nativism and xenophobia, which are totally, completely different.

To which any person who hasn’t already committed himself to the spiritually thankless task of shoveling excrement for Dear Leader must surely reply: My God, man, get a hold of yourself. Have a little self-respect and get a job or a hobby that doesn’t require that you publicly humiliate yourself before all the world. Or at least take a step back from the partisan fray for a moment, for just one second, and take stock of where you are — rising to the public defense of the president by patiently explaining that he’s merely two kinds of bigot and not a third.