I have some important dog information to share with you, and I know it is 100 percent true, because my dog told it all to me. According to my dog, there is a problem between dogs and humans today, and the problem is this: humans have forgotten what a dog is.

I know, this seems crazy. How could we have forgotten what a dog is? I mean, I feed my dog human food, sleep with my dog in my human bed and dress my dog in a T-Rex costume. That is how I know what my dog is: a tiny, adorable T-Rex.

Wait, I mean, not a human. A dog is not a human, of course! A dog is better than a human. For one thing, a dog’s purpose, or even a dog’s journey, is not just to make money. I know because I have seen each of those movies seven times.