In a series of tweets, Cruz made his bewildered preference all but crystalline. He wrote:

“Wow. These #JamesGunn tweets are just horrible. Child rape is no laughing matter. As Texas SG, I handled far too many child sexual assaults. Truly evil. I’m glad Disney fired him, but if these tweets are true, he needs to be prosecuted.”

The fact is “those tweets” were very obviously jokes. And there’s no plausible way for such jokes to “true.” That’s because, in general, jokes are understood–if they’re understood at all–as a riff on reality. Here, specifically, as noted by Mediaite’s Aidan McLaughlin, one of Gunn’s jokes was about a cartoon tree performing oral sex. And, despite Ted Cruz’s very well-functioning brain, this is simply a physical impossibility.

There wasn’t any real mystery about what Ted Cruz was attempting to do.