Parenting is by no means a sprint but a marathon of the highest order: The father who actively plays with his children will have a seat at the table eight years later when the same child needs help with math homework, and again, ten years later, when he’s trying to decide what kind of vocation he should pursue, and again still later whether he’s pondering whether to marry this certain woman he met.

Still, this is all hard to come by and in fact, almost impossible, if the men who are dads have not learned to understand and appreciate their own masculinity in a healthy way. One of the many reasons feminism has taken such a firm grip in society today isn’t all due to the overzealous third wave of women who hate the patriarchy. Some of their hatred toward men is firmly rooted in the fact that they watched men fail to act like real men and so they were left disappointed, wanting, directionless, and hopeless (whether as children, lovers, spouses, or even friends).

Don’t misread me, I’m not saying men hold the key to happiness — but a man who doesn’t know himself, act like a man, and treat the young men in his life how to be one, is no man at all. This not only affects him but how others see him, including women and children.