Incidentally, Muise has found that more sex is better only up to a point — on average, about once a week. At that rate, most couples report optimal relationship health and happiness. Any more often than that and most couples could take or leave it. But just as you might suspect, reactions to this finding were mixed. “Certainly there was the reaction that was like, ‘Oh, okay, thank God,’” says Muise. “One woman told me it made her feel relieved, because she felt like it was less pressure. Before that she’d been thinking it wasn’t quite enough, or thinking it should be more. But to other people, once a week didn’t sound like enough.” When I first encountered Muise’s study, I, too, was comforted. On the one hand, once a week sounds totally doable. On the other hand, even having that number in the back of my mind stresses me out. Knowing an “average rate” puts a sense of obligation behind something that’s supposed to be self-determined and fun; it’s like creating Google calendar events for watching TV or hanging out with friends (which is something I also do).