You need to understand that SJWs are the leads in a giant personal psychodrama they want to suck us all into. But they aren’t traditional heroes – they’re far too goofy. Think of SJWs as the nerds in Revenge of the Nerds, except these nerds aren’t sympathetic fringies. They’re malignant manipulators who act like the jocks and want to make the rest of us as miserably friendless and loveless as they are. Instead of giving their victims wedgies, the babbling bullies of the left want to whine us into submission.

These suburban-born aspiring Red Guards aim to lead their own Cultural Revolution from safe havens within academia and deep in the fetid bowels of the internet, but they’d just be yet another group of hapless leftist losers except that they discovered how to exploit a key vulnerability. They learned they can rely upon the dedication to reason and essential decency of normal people to protect them from what should be the painful consequences of their actions. SJWs succeed for one reason, and one reason only – too few people simply burst into laughter when these mayo-loving white people with dreads and daddy issues announce that today they identify as black, or that prominent Jewish conservatives are “Nazis,” or that some women have penises.